Thursday, November 8, 2007
so it is with much craftiness. ToyinT is performing her usual disappearing act...lol
need to study hard, i don't want TO GIVE mummy toyintomato, a reason to fly down here and give my yarsh some correct naija homemade ass whopping
...the fear of Mummy toyintomato is the beginning of excellent grades..lmao
AND a VerY bIg shOut oUt to Callywaffy babe..HAPPY BUFfDAY..MWAHHHHHHHHHHH!
see you guys after my finals
i will reply all your comments then..
Self appointed Special Adviser to the Special adviser of the Special Adviser of the Honorable Minister of Information and gossip...hahahah
Thursday, October 25, 2007
me sef, i tire, anytime i read my posts it almost like i am always on a roller coaster aka Toyin-T the emotional roller costar..guys be very VeRy AFRAID...brouhaha, i am so corny..( sorry Vivian green)
fery plenty tory, plenty tory, i say.
my crazy friend that had an accident , just bough a new car, i refuse to judge, lai-lai, i will not mutter a word. ..oya a little bit..so why did she crash her car in an "alleged" accident. hmmn.." shaking my head".....the many scams in America...anyway, i haf comot eyes.
..so what else is happening, i have gone to harras my professor to give me an A, you should have seen, me, Toyin-T at my best, i told prof R, i want an A in this class.any way the naughty prof has aggreed to improve my grade, if i participate more in class, during my period of serious confusications with life, i did not talk in class. i think the Baba Prof kinda missed me.
so i have promised him a full representation of the Toyintomato in classes for the next 2 weeks..
what else is new, haba , see me and me talka-tiveness, okay so i work the front desk( my school job), so i have to answer inquires ..blah.blah blah in short i am a recep/ student office assistant. what ever.
anyway back to my story, a student called and was harrassing me on the phone, i am usually very calm, so i was telling the person calmly, to go to the school website and find the information, after 3 different explanations and the girl still refused.. thats how, my original accent started coming out, then i heard
" TOYIN-T, is that you on the phone , shakaraing me"
..yeparipa.. see my serious laughter. anyway i found out it was one of my friends. so i did the favor for her.
...next what else, anon, is really stressing about my under gee, serious gbeorun , most likely we are related(we both inherited the Gbeborun gene..haha)
anyway if release the full gist, the it will no longer be an undergee relationship. and remember my olowo Ori mi( unknown future fantastic husband) is going to see/read this blog,and i dont want to have to lie.
"undergee has promised me that he will be with me till i marry. so most likely future olowo ori mi might meet him. and so Undergee will forever remain undergee, sorry pips .
..okay, on a side note, i know i have a terrible habit of not replying comments, i really have to work on this.
..what else, see me , i finally went to the GYm, yepa. extreme shock and surprisation of the highest order, i have gained 5 pounds( uk people , do the conversion to kg, my maths has failed me here)
anyway, see how i hit the treadmill i was determined.. operation "beat the pounds" have started, all my semi -fatty foods have gone, i am counting calorie like i am Oprah's best friend(Gail move over jare).
it remain small i wanted to start writing a food journal , then i remembered . this is Toyin_T the Original, the Lepa, in the Lepashandi, the Oreke, in the Orekelewa, Break in the Breakable( nic name in skool), the PLe, in the Omo to Ple, the tomato in the oya i dont have anymore,
digression without purpose, nonsensity
..so i Hiss this useless Fat does not know who it is dealing with.
...what else is new in my life, yes!, there is a guy i think has a crush on me, he invited me out on Friday, i really don't want to go, number 5999999, on Toyin T's words for existing in this crazy world of dating says .
"don't go out with a guy , you are not interested in, even if the guy is really nice and looks good. say No!!!."
its really practical, most people will know, you will just end up hurting the poor boy for no reason entirely, and damage him for the next girl.. remember i am doin this for the other Single girls out there..haha.
..so what happened with waffycallbabe, i missed all the drama..double Dam.Damn, i am, very sure, it will be related to anon comment. anyway i will go and read "citypeople" this will tame my Gbeborunities for a little while.
hey Fumni, i got you email, hope you are still reading the blog, a couple of my friends have found this blog, no shaking, i have nothing to hide. and in true razz style " big shout out to my Kankon family"
... since i am on this topic, i want to send a request to my Family...
broda, plentz sista,... my uncke kosamo,.... my Aunti tomtom,.... Daddy toyin-t, Big Mummy Number 2,... our drifer baba Action aka babs the action Man...hahahah .
hope you guys are still reading just a temp lapse to channel 7 father christmas time request show ..hahaha
i really am corny, i always seem to crack my self up each time..LMAo
anyway have fun off to class as usual.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
my God father said i should come home, i think he and i have a kindred spirit, he said i need a break.
i changed my mind about applying for my Phd , i really hope i dont regret it later, i will postpone it until 2011.
my undergee, is mad, he wants me to do the Phd, i think he wants bragging rights with his friends, or maybe not, he really isnt like that, he has always supported my drive to succeed, so why is he mad??
i have never had a break, its either skool, or one professional exam or the other, i am forever studying.
i wish i can earn a job as a window cleaner. i don't want to think, i don't even want to be rich, i just want to exist..does that make sense.
anyway, i am job searching now, i need a job by December, why am i not looking forward to this.
i can feel my grades slipping, my hope of 3 A"s is gradually slipping to 2 b's and 1 A, i need to wake up, but i am tired.
i know i have gained weight, but i am tired, i dont feel like doin anything.
....one of my family friends committed suicide, everyone is scared, i know i am not depressed, i am just tired.
maybe, i am tired of living up to the standards, my sister calls me the golden child of the family, ..blah..i motive all the other kids, i am tired of motivating people.
i cant go home yet, i have to do all the numerous other professional exams i promised my mum i would do.
i heard i have to loose more weight becos everyone is expecting me to look on point when i get home,
there is a guy in naija calling me, i know he is bullshitting me, why is he callin me??, i know he has a girlfriend in lagos, i heard he told everyone that i am supposed his yankee girlfriend..nonsense guy.why is everyone hyping me up.
i have to by my ticket to go to atlanta, i dont feel like going, my family is going to be showing me off, i am tired
i want to be just regular, i want to fail, i want to be kicked out of skool, i want the horrible boyfriend that nobody likes, i want to be fat. i dont want to be someones dream.i am tired.
i know i sound a little ungrateful, baba God i really am so sorry.
i wish..i would wake up from this dream i made for my self and be just me.
Friday, September 28, 2007
damn, old age in full effect, .. ehm, " clearing throat"...i seem to have forgotten all the gist i was saving,.Ahah..i haf remembad.
Title: car crashing into building, and my Leg-Wagon: 2006 , 2.5i
..okay its, 7.30 am toyin-t, is casually walking to skool, i see my neighbour aka kem(not reall name..ofcourse!) running like a really mad person towards me..toyin-t .(for a second i wanted to run too, its lagos mentality, when someone is runnin, u also run, then ask questions later..haha)
kem finally catches up, and asks me.."did you see what just happen?"
, i say no, then she starts screamin, "I am goin to jail, ..I am goin to jail.. I am going to JAIL. ..Please take care of my kids..
..kids kini/what!, what is the woman talking about, abi she smoked something, anyway she pulls me to the other side of the road and i see her car crashed into one of my school's apartment buildings (..if she wasn't hysterical, this was infact a very comical sight)
.so i asked , hmnnn how did this happen. kem replied..i was backin out/reverseing out of the driveway and the car wouldn't stop.
...me toyin-t, was very doubtful about kem's official story
okay let me give you a mental picture,
so she backed out reversing from her driveway into the main highway,... then the car did not stop, and crossed over to the other side of the road, this car then continued moving.
hmm there is a huge hill separating my skool from the road. so kems car backed "UP " a hill , then backed"DOWN'' the hill, the fell into the parkin lot(because there is a huge curb there).. and STILL did not stop, then this same car then SPUN around, missed the dumpster, and finally hit the BUILDING!!!
..my pips do you get the picture...with my analysis , my brain refused to gree,/agree that a car can backup /reverse up a huge hill.
anyway sha, one guy saw me by the car, and called the cops/popo/police, thats how as a naija girl, i started walking away, the boo refused to let me go, saying i have to wait for the police, abi this boy chop winsh,
first: i did not witness the accident=i did not see anything.
2: i did not call the cops, he did
3: the most important, i have a test at 12pm, that is the main reason i am in America
4: shoo, i dont know kem from anywhere, this is America.
..so i put my ever reliable mode of transportation, My Leg-Wagon:2006, 2.5i, in gear/drive and made damn sure i wasnt going back, wait for police ko,...wait for the police ni...
..see me se trouble, kiloshele,..early monday moring, i am waitin for police, .."hiss" when, i have better things to do.
got to run
toyintomato aka toyin-B for busy is off again off to another study session, my social life is so gone right now.
thanks for all the comments. as you can see, i am replying in the naija style..late as usual, no vex.
have a great weekend/week
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
After reviewing your account we have found that you had another laptop fine on August 15, 2006 in the amount of $475.00 which was paid.
Based on this information we are not able to waive your fine of $25.00.
...toyintomato, is mad, honestly honestly , i am praying for this dirk guy, because he is testin me ,..big time.
this is what happened.
i borrowed the laptop from my library for my group meeting and i returned it 30 mins late, kappish. normaly for 20-40 minutes lateness ..the fine is waved.
this guy now sent me this email, i dont think toyintomato would pay $400 bucks for a fine(abi i chop winch)..who dashed me the money.
anyway , i told them there must have been some type of computer error, the bobo refused to gree, saying that if i can pay $400 what is $25
see me se trouble, over 20 mins lateness.he was very rude to me, which was uncalled for, abi i offended the guy somewhere.anyway i am taking it to his superior and for the first time i am considering adding racial prejudice story to my dispute.
i am actually thinking of gettin the guy fired(this is soooo unlike me) but you should have seen how the guy rubbished me on top of $25 bucks. it even remained small i wanted to vex=annoyance and pay the stupid fine.
but in all honesty, it think i am being singled out, and i do not know why????
the stupid guy just gave me a headache,
okay let me go back to bed this nonsense is depriving me of my sweet sleep
toyin-t is goin to bed,and i better not have a dream about this stupid nonsense, becos when i get to the library 2morrow i will Beg-Gi for every person there (copyright= fuji house of commotion)
UPDATE: SEPTEMBER 24TH : ALL FINES HAVE BEEN WAIVED FROM MY ACCOUNT!!!
Friday, September 14, 2007
...so what happened..
....yes, i have become fully americanized, as i was jejely walking, at the campus apartments, i saw 2 guys and a girl walking strangely..the babe was wearing her pajamas, obviously my gbeborun instincts pick up, the i heard her screaming , "you promised never to hit me"..blah blah blah, so without a sec to think i carried my phoned and called the popo aka police to report the domestic violence,hmn after i started thinkin, if i was in naija wuld i have called the police. oh well , carry go jare.
my pips, will i ever be taken seriosly..i tire oh.
so in my Options class, i was answering a lot of questions(i think the prof likes calling my name)
so anyway he asked for the answer from one of our assignments, my brain freezed big time, see me see trouble, the guy gave us 20 questions..did he think we wuld actually get to the last question..
so i resulted to naija style of classroom avoidance and removed my eye from the prof's line of vision, as i was concentrating on this mode of operation, one nonsense fly started disturbin my gloriously permed hair, so i started waving my hands to get the fly off.
the prof:" miss toyintomato, i see you have an answer for this problem"
me:"yeparipah.., am sorry prof, i do not know the answer"
prof: " so you just felt like waving your hands
me:" ehmn, prof Robin, actually there was a huge fly , hovering around my head...(by this time i was giggling so hard)
..anyway the class started laughing, and the prof forgot about the question
honestly ..honestly..this was not a planned distraction move.. although all copyright belongs to me.
..okay now i haven't heard this question in a while, so am sorry i just had to laugh
one of the ladies in my team, she is American by the way, age=35,works full time, and doin her MBA, asks me
"oh toyintomato, you speak english so well"
for a sec, confusication caught me, is this woman that dumb, anyway i just started laughing, she was looking around like she said some thing wrong.i choose not to enlighten her..heheh
...Progress in class:..(this was the email i sent to my mum..she is a lecturer and i have to fulfill this part or she will call me at 5am in the morning)
1: i totally bombed my globalization presentation, i choose to take blame,lack of preparation, one of my team members refused to meet, and did not show up until 10 mins before class.
..note to self, it really is tiring when you are teamed with up with someone who is working full time.
2: my second group is worse, first guy hasn't been in skool for 10 years, he keeps asking me questions already in the text book. gosh just read the dam text book, ..simple or tell your assistant to give you an executive summary
3: love my 3rd group, we are the team to beat, ...hahaha
on another random hopeless gist
...so as i was waiting at the bus stop,i heard a black guy speak chinese, see how surprisation caught me, i did full stop with my legs to see this with my 2 ko-ko-ro eyes.
eh, this i have to see , i did full 10 mins of non-embarrassed/lack of shame ,watching this guy converse with a Chinese guy..my goodness i was impressed.
Respecting my old age, i choose not to ask the black guy where he learn't to speak Chinese
..okay pips of to do homework, i have a couple of team meeting tomorrow, and i want to sound intelligent
Sunday, September 9, 2007
i just found out this news, and i have been crying ever since,
Tosin was indeed a very unique girl, her quiet soul, her smile..she was a true friend.
we both went to Model college together
and grew up together in Agege...funny we used to call ourselves the "Agege babes"...gosh!
i really dont know what to write, because my hand shaking.
my heart goes out to her family, her husband..(sigh...)
the Almighty GOD will be with your family , husband and child.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
classes have started in full force,checked out all the guys, in all my classes, no boyfriend potential yet.
Baba God , one small prayer request , pls pls let a black person be in my next class, so that i can at least go out on dates. i promise i will stop microwaving potatoes and learn how to boil potatoes..hahaha
So, i sneaked down to Manhattan , to meet my boo(shhhh!! its supposed to be a secret), lets just say i am the only person that spent the week in new york city, and never got to see times square. my people, my thighs have never ached so much, at least i went to the wax museum after drinking 2 bottles of energy drinks.and that is all i am goin to say..kappish(remember my mother is reading this)...hahaha
haba, do you want mummy toyintomato to faint!
besides that, my boo aka SBO.. commented that i am not wife material, yeparipah, ori mi oh, see me see trouble, me the one and only toyintomarro, not wife material , so i listed my skills.
1: hopeless cook
2: cant be submissive
3: loves taking charge
4: hmnnn, i really cant think of anythin else, this is sad, anyway serious headache is cashin me, so i gives up. abeg jare, i owe nobody no explanations.
anyway back to another un-important gist.
.........hmnn how old is too old, my home girl met SBO and said he is a little too old for me, that i need someone younger because i am such a playful person. anyway i tend to disagree, growing up with only my mum, i believe , that when i date i always pick older men cos , deep down i still think i am looking for a father figure, ..anyway i am sure there is a psycho-analytical word for this..but me i dont care, as long as i am happy.
my original ex boyfriend(becos i dated him for over 5 yrs) emailed me. the following events occurred:
1: nonsense technology failed me: all my address blocking and filtering on both my yahoo, hotmail and hi5 accounts all failed me and allowed his email to pass through
2: My fingers failed me: as i was about to click on spam and delete to block out the message, not me but my fingers accidentally hit open.
3: the nonsense boy, sent me a bunch of crap , how he remembers me. abeg i have moved on. am thinking he is doing a psychological game, so that i can email him and ask how he is, and he will tell me he is married....(gosh i really have to stop analyzing things..)
4: the above events put the boy on my radar, and so i had a nonsensical dream about him, to this i was totally mad.
note to self, update the filter on your email accounts, i do not want to have any contact with that boy. okay as you have already guessed, it was a bad breakup, i will give the gist in another post.
on to a berra topic.... nothing crazy has happened to me yet..ahhh , i just remembered, i was diagnosed with secondary blood pressure, these Americana doctors sha , i told them,
1: i currently have 3 classes to pass and graduate
2:i am lookin for a job
3: i am moving apartments
4:i am saving for my trip back home...hell yes! i am stressed, what else is new. Nigerians thrive and function more effectively when under stress,
Abeg Dokita , just leave me. so i refused to go back to the hospital, besides i think they just want to spend my student health insurance money..hahah. so i told them i after a good day of sleep-TV and sleep, i will be okay. kappish.
...Soo, what else, as an original T.V addict, i upgraded to 300 digital cable channels..save me!!!!, you guys can see me oh, now you can understand why my blogging activities have drastically reduced..lol
...I am supposed to be doing my homework right now, but this brain is blocked, this my brain please dont fail me, olowo ori mi, the main insurance of my whole family.....abeg brain dont give up on me now. .
there is a gist i am itching to tell you guys , but the fear of my roommate is the beginning of wisdom, BaBa God Please help me to keep my mouth shut. it is becos of this useless type of temptation that i always beg my roommate not to tell me anything about her boyfriend aka smack that. see all the prayer and fasting i am doing just to keep my lips sealed..hmnnn, i tire oh
sorries to eferybodies, toyintomarro is fery bushy, clashes is ferys ferys hards. so maybees, i wons be writes and commens all the times, pleanse doesent vex for me.
.... i tried to used good queens English through out this post, my razzyness factoria is begins to ..ehm, ehm, ....comins down..hahahahaahahahaha..(i just had to let it out)
have a great week...
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Prosecutors :The American Lung Association and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
Defendant: Toyintomato, aka T-T, aka Toyin-T
Case: Air quality Violation
August 18, 2007: Appeals Court Denies toyintomato's case " on Air Quality violation"
Court shoots down Toyintomato's, appeal of August 2007 , ruling that the release of toxic flatulence 6 times a day violates Clean Air Act
Washington, D.C. (Aug 18, 2007) – A panel of federal judges denied appeals by Toyintomato to overturn the ruling on the quantity of flatulence released by Toyintomato.
Higher flatulence levels in a region are frequently accompanied by increased hospitalization, emergency room visits for respiratory disorders, reduction in outdoor activities and the widespread increase in the act of holding the nose.
Significantly, recognizing the harm from Toyintomato’s delay, laxity and lawlessness, the Court also “urged” her to “act promptly in promulgating a revised rule that effectuates the statutory mandate by implementing the 2 hour-hour [ozone] standard, which was deemed necessary to protect her friends, classmates, fellow bus riders and the entire public.”
Today’s decision reaffirms that Toyintomato violated the Clean Air Act by releasing flatulence in excess of the required minimum deemed sufficient for human beings.
“Toyintomato" should heed the Court’s pointed warning to act promptly to adopt protective rules that will deliver long overdue clean air to the public at large,”
The prosecution's attorney JohnBull said , this was a really hard case to prove due to the fact that most of toyintomato's farting came in the form of "silent bombs",
thankfully the toxic=stench levels matched that of toyin-t' s yarsh and that broke the case.
......furthermore Toyintomato's foot-dragging and law-breaking have a daily toll on people forced to breathe flatulence levels that doctors and scientists tell us is widely unhealthy.”
his suggested protective rules include:
1: limiting of eating of scrambled eggs to 3 times a week or less
2: total abstinence from any kind of beans possible
3: having laxative readily available to curb excessive farting.
Toyintomato's Response to all this:..."No comment!..while releasin another silent bomb..opps..lol"
(p.s..i am so sorry i haven't replied any comments or even blogg stalked in a while , i am workin like a mad person, also i am movin to a new apartment right now, and also skool starts full time on sept 3rd and i have assignments due already... in the famous words of Diana ross ..."i will survive!"..haha)
.... definition of terms :just in case you did not click on the link and haven't figured it out by now..hahah
1.) presence of a mixture of gases known as flatus in the digestive tract of mammals expelled from the rectum.
commonly known as 'farting', 'passing gas', 'breaking wind', 'cutting the cheese', or 'passing wind
2.)presence of gas under some degree of pressure, in a confined cubicle. The term is normally used of the presence of gas in the digestive tract of mammals, usually leaving a distinct odor
3.).)To discharge material, as vapor or fumes, usually suddenly and violently: emit, give, give forth, give off, give out,let out, release send forth.
intr.v. fart·ed, fart·ing, farts
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
In 2005 Feb, a guy made me cry, 2007 August another guy made me cry...this will never happen to me again!
...hmnn usually i write funny stuff, but today is not a good day,
i am not even sure i am goin to post this lets just see as it goes, ..
most likely i will write the funny stuff next week and you can come back and read it then.
..is this goin to be lengthy, i definitely think so, will i feel better after ..who knows.
...in life , you just never know, often people harras me for not datin, sayin that i am runnin from love, ..and i explain, if love has to come with pain, then i would prefer not to love.
i am a happy person, i am usually full of life, it hurts me deeply, when someone takes pleasure in tryin to kill my zest for life. it hurts, why wuld you want to see me sad..why
..maybe its the values i was brought up with, growin up in a single parent house, my mum instilled in me the ability to be happy without a guy, havin a guy around can and shld not determine my attitude to life.God has already filled my life with joy, i don't need a guy to confirm or re validate that.
..so where shld i start from... i dont know.
this is what i know , i slept on the floor in the hotel room, i cried my self to sleep for allowin this to happen to me.he took my cell phone and credit cards, cus God knows i wuld have left that hotel without a doubt at 1 am in the mornin.
i honestly wuld have preferred he hit me, at least i can fight him back, but emotional abuse hurts, and kills me from the inside , there is no way for me to fight back.
..i know i am rambling, i guess i am still workin thru all this...dear God, my best friend, my pal, who always has my back, ........"plz dont let me cry again".
..hmnnn , after a 1 hour walk...okay my pips, am back, disregard all that mumbo jumbo , i wrote before, i have re wired my system, talked to Baba God am good, i dont hate him at all, i only feel sad for him, at least i know i will not call him again.., toyintomato is back in full force.. no more mushy jargon...bera get ready plenty hot hot gist!...commin soon
am sure by now everyone is wondering what Phd guy did, me sef i tire. anyway long post always lead to tiredication, exhuasticationlitiez, and total boredomation, i will divide the followin post into 2,
1:if you want the hilarious
2: for Phd guy storry..dats 4 you gbeboruns..haha, it will be the next post, click here
i hope i made it easier for my blog pips.
.. lookin all sexy in my red dress, pumps, and all, we go out to eat, the girl shows us out seats inside, it looks crowdy, so i suggest that we sit outside, thats how the waiter girl uses evil eye to look at me, for disturbin her..gbosa! yeeeparipah!..is this my yarnsh on the floor, ..
toyintomato has fallen on the floor,yakata!, my skills are immpressive, i did not even wait for reaction time, i flew up on my feet in less that 3 secs flat..no way will i let my babe facto meter drop down...hehe, ..PhD guy says its my shoes cus, they are too high, i refuse to agree, i have worn those shoes everywhere, i have not fallen down before, ..i suspect that waiter girl, and she said she is Greek, abi isn't it those Greek people that did original ju-ju(black magic) abi where did venus and domilo..hehe sorry Aristotle, ,,i sha watched the movie Sparta... no shakin, sha am good,all my bones are in their correct position, abi mummy toyintomato prayer and fastin is still workin in full force.
thats how i reached the water tower, and saw one guy in the fountain,his pants was half down, he was shouting that he is a prophet,sent from god, splashing water on anyone that passes ...hmnn the beginin of madness,"stage 1 madness" , i must see this with my 2 kokoro eyes, i run and grab a seat, in true gbeborun fashion, i asked the lady by my side..what wrong with that guy.
she said she thinks its his birthday, that he is just celebrating, that he just got drafted into the army, he is gettin married in 2 hours, whinsh kian storry is all this, ..the woman was sayin a bunch of random stuff that did not make sense. anyway the stage 1 madness guy gets out of the fountain, and starts headin towards me, trust me i put on my sun-shades and comot eyes, he leans over to the lady by my side and they start yarnin opak=random bullshit...
....yeeeeh, see my nonsense life, i am sittin beside another mad woman, hehehe. they invite me to go swimming in the fountain, winsh one is this, i need to run fast , then i see the police commin, pls i hope they dont think i am also with the stage one madness poeple, you know its hard to distuguish this kain madness, ..anywy the mad pple start runnin, way when the notice the police..hallelujah..thank goodness,that was close.., see what gbeborun can lead to..hehehe.
the naija guy.
...so anyway, i obviously was sightseeing alone, which me made me a target, but no shakin, so i was at the navy pier,
when one guy walks up to me with a naija accent he says wants to take a picture with me..hehe, i smile = no way in hell
..so i say "obviously you are Nigerian", he says i see you are not shy, we kinda talked and did the whole i am not givin you my number story, this bobo even noticed that i just dyed my hair.
later that day, i was by the bus stop for the tours to get back to the hotel, when the guy drove up to my side, ..anyway long story, the guy dropped me at my hotel and i gave him my number, bad move i kno..then the drama began.
he said he wants to come over and watch cable in my room..nonsensibilty, -50 for lack of tact, i told him i had a roommate. ..he said he will take me to him place, tofiapah, ehh, this guy wants vacation booty, no way, i hang up the phone, the guy calls again and says we shld go the the park...what is wrong with this horny boy, does he think i am 12yrs old..anyway i told him, i was goin to give the phone to my husband..hehehe...that always works!..i haven't received any call from him yet...
... called Phd Guy, to come and pick me , cus we planned he wuld rent a car, so we can drive around the city, he said he was tired, and the airport was like 1 hour away, and there was traffic, and besides he didnt know the area too well cus he kept on gettin lost. ..normal toyin -t style no shakkin, i got into the shuttle and heeded to the hotel.Hilton hear i come..hehe
to be fair on PhD guy, he had, gotten the swippy card thin for me to check in, and also was waitin for me in the lobby, helped me with my luggage, gave me the "just friends hug", strange but i did not think about it
we were both hungry, and decided to go out to grab somethin to eat, he harassed me about havin an Ipod..something about social isolation jargon, then about my bra thingy , me i did not vex..haha, i still looked good.
we talked durin dinner, i noticed some of his snide comments, but i either just ignored him, or said 'whatever".
oya fast forward..Phd Guy said that he goin to be busy, he will not have time to hang out with me, he asked if i needed money and said he wuld call me during lunch, me i said no shakin i wuld be fine dont need his money jare...
so out goes toyin tomato..sightseeing, chattin to pple, and havin a blast, i even met one naught naija guy..(see part 2 for his storry). 6pm i came back to the hotel..all exhausted, told Phd guy guy about my escapades, even the naija guy i met..hehe, he said at least now you met a friend to hang out with, your trip wuld be much more fun.
6:30pm ..PhD guy wants to go to a ballroom dinner jargon..me i said i wasnt goin cuz i am sure it was goin to be borin, phd guy said i shld go out with the naija guy and have fun, that most likely he might not be back till mornin.
as usual, i did not vex, i ironed my grown and sexy out fit, i was goin to go to the jazz club next door, i did not call the naija guy.
.....PhD guy comes back early he sees my outfit all laid out on the bed, he smirks at me..nonsense wetin concern me, then he starts snorin, ..winsh kin nonsense is this one,.. so i wake him and ask him, what his plans are, he says notin, he just wants to sleep,
...haba, abi ,weren se boy yi=abi is madness cashin this boy..hehe, isnt he the one that invited me , now he is sleepin, anyway maybe this is his signal..wink! so i take off my clothes and say i really dont feel like goin out again.
... 5 mins later, the bobo is sleepin again, what is all this jagbajantis, so i wake him up, and i ask, is there a problem, he said he is fine, just exhausted, and wants to sleep, that why am i disturbing him..
..eh!, what did this boy just say, me disturbin!, ori mi o, yeparipah! ..okay(this is where i transform into my alter ego while loosin my temper)..i start shouting and argu in with him, what the fuck, is it not you that called me, invited me here, why are you actin like this, he still ignores me,
... i up my temper level, why are you actin like i am disturbing you, he then replied, yes i was disturbin, that i did not allow him to sleep, and no one wakes him from his sleep, yeparipah..what concobility.
ol boy, first of all, you called me, you pestered me to come here, you insinuated me and you will hang out, now i am disturbin you..see my life. anyway he said that, what do i mean, he only invited me for a vacation , becos he had a free room, he did not say anythin about us hangin out. he is sorry he gave me the wrong impression. by now my temper has passed "be careful", i carry my phone and call the airline..they say $150 bucks to change my fight...no way am i payin $150 bucks to get away fron this hefer=stupid ass hole, the guy isnt worth my $150 instead i will shop with my money..so i hang up the phone.
PhD guy looks at me,he is quite mad at me now, he says for what i just did , he will never forgive me, that if i want to go home, he will give me the money, i told him, i dont need his stupid money. he then goes to lecture me that , whoever i date next, i shld learn how to watch my temper and control my irrational actions, what the heck, i told him to sut the hell up(although this is thru about my temper..hehe)
he continued lecturin me, that he cant believe i just made that call, that his opinion of me has totally deteriorated.
by now i was beyond mad, i started shoutin, that truthfully he shld just say it, why the neck did he invite me here, cuz i really dont get it, why ??????..enuf of the bullshit emotional abuse and words, just tell me why the fuck did you decide to pick up your goddamm phone and call me?
he finally talked,sayin he is workin thru some personal shit. that of recent he found out that he is becommin emotionally detached from girls, that girls just get on his nerves a lot now, and he knew he always was attracted to me, so he decided to invite he, to test himself, and he did not even think i was goin to say yes..
and when i came here, he just wasn't feelin me, and i kinda irritated him, how i talked about Lindsey lo hen, watching nonsense Tv shows instead of CNN, having an ipod, and even when i say "whatever" it gets on his last nerve..ori mi oh=my head oh , save me! he said that since he stared workin on his Phd, he kinda is more into aquirin knowledge than hangin out with normal people, cuz normal people bore and irritate him especially girls.. so i ask ..right now, no jokes, do i irritate you, he said yes, in fact seeing you in this bed is totally pissin me off right now.
yeparipah..this guy has killed me, i got up, started packin my bags, my mother all the way in naija, did not slave night and day to give me a better life, so that one nonsense boy will talk to me like this. i will leave this room , even if its 1 am in the mornin, he comes at me and grab my bag, i did not even slow down, forget the bag jare, let me just wear my shoes, he grabs my shoes, i rush for my flipflops=slippers, he then ran and grabbed my phone and purse with my passport and credit card. he tells me you are not goin anywhere tonight. i can not try to grab the stuff from him,he is way much more stronger than me, i just slide to the floor cryin... he tells me to get back in bed, i say no, ..i arranged the towels as my pillow and blanket and slept
..shiverin and shakin all the way from my teeth to my toes,i adjust my pride and crawl back into the bed at 4am, i really dont want to get sick over this nonsense.
7am in the morning, he lift the covers up and tells me, that he only told me what i wanted to hear, i ignore him ....i did not say a word to him for 2 days , on Wednesday morning i give him the hotel swippy card to check out , and tell him my flight is at 12pm, bye, am out!
(p.s there is so much more to this story, the comments he said, his words, the way he made me feel like i was the problem...but lets just leave it as it is. and this post is way too long..hahaha)
Friday, August 3, 2007
everybody in bloggworld is invited, naija style parry, will end when the food finish,no cancel that , will end when every body goes home..hahaha.
Please help me congratulobia,clap both hand..clap! clap! clap! for both manda and omosewa..aka the August girls!, on adding a new year to their ages..happy buffday, welcome to my small parry, have fun..hehe(okay i am doin joint buffday parry=savin costs..haha).
another song for the parry..enjoy..hehe
and this song below is specially posted for omosewa, i am already dancing away...hehe
Monday, July 30, 2007
shoo see me see trouble, i rushed into the shower, did my boardin house shower aka Rub and Shine: (see break down below)
1:quick brushing =2 sec,
2:pour water on my face =3 sec,
3:jumping the shower =1 sec.
4: one blast of cold water = 4 sec..finish!
i rushed, put my jewelry in my bag, no time to make up, grab my cereal and bottle of milk, grab my Vaseline, ...abeg no time to my lotion up my body, ever reliable Vaseline will have to do.
pour plenty of perfume and deodorant..i have to still keep up my babe facto meter up, despite the situation..hehehe.
then i ran like baba suwe= a raving lunatic to work.
in fact, toyin-T, well done, i pat my self on the back, i beat my personal best of 15mins, i reached the office in 7:23mins flat..kare, u are the true daughter of your father..
anyway as i reached the office, the blinds were down, maybe the front desk person is home sick.
i enter the office. kilari , kiloshele=what the heck is happenin, all the lights are off, the office is dark.
hmnn, maybe today is a public holiday, but i did not get any email, but again in my rush i did not turn the T.v on.
.. confusicatison caught me, hmnn, where is everyone in this office ??
anyhow so thats how i waka=walked to the V.P's office, her lights were on, so thats how me toyin-T , international gbeborun, started asking, where is everybody, what happenin..i was lookin for gist.....haha
thats how V.p " ..said toyin my dear, its only 6:45am, what are you doin here????
extreme shock, yeepah, see my life, olodocious olodo, in fact dumb mu-mu,
what the heck am i doin here at 6am,and not 8am my official resumption time.
you see my life, and i am supposed to be an intelligent person..hehehehehehe
(p.s :dyed my hair back to black, will add the theme music later..am at work so am rushin..hahah)
Sunday, July 22, 2007
as i sat in the bus, i just let out a fantastic yoruba scream.....ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
..the shuttle driver slowed down and looked at me, (am sure he is thinkin, these Africans, what is it now").
can you believe it what are the odds, the guy right beside me is holding the new harry potter book"original" released 12am this very morning.
....dats how razz toyintomato,asked the typical dumb question... "xcuse me is that the new harry potter book"
the bobo looked at me strangely, i told him, do you mind if i take a look.
am sure the guy , wanted to do anythin to shut me up.
..this was 8am in the mornin, i did not think i would see the book until 4pm to say the least..
so toyintomato was extremely excited to
1: touch the new harry potter book
2: open the first 4 pages
3: look at the back of the book
unfortunately the fear of shamin my self in public, refused me to ask the boy if i should read a couple of the pages..hahahah., anyway am happy.
....see everywhere in the mall, all these little kids are reading the harry potter book, oblivious to anythin around them...haba, just too young for addiction to start.. abeg wetin concern me., so i just removed my face.
had a lenthy phone call with my one and only sister, heard she had chicken pox, and fear is catchin her, that it would destroy her face...anyway, i told her it would not be funny, if i catch the stupid thing from across the phone, you kno how these Americans dont joke with contagious diseases..
abeg let me stop, you know they monitor online blogs and flag sensitive words, before they send immigration and health services to my house..
...(...oya American people reading this blog. i state i do not have chicken pox, true ..lol)
oya the mall gist, i went to the mall to look for a red purse/bag to match my red shoes. so i did balogun/lagos island shoppin style, i took one leg of the shoe to the mall, i did not send jare, you shld have seen me, ..i was on a mission, if i see a purse, i will just pull out my shoe and place it beside the bag, abeg it my money oh.
one oyinbo woman , used eye to look at me,
cuz i scattered around 6 different shades of red purses on the floor, trying to match my shoe.but you trust me that didnt even faze me...me i dont have shame when it comes to shoppin..lol
anyway i successfully got a green and pink purse, but no red bag, i tire, you know its only in the summer that these oyinbo's have color, by the fall all i will be seein is boring Grey , brown and ever reliable black bags.
..(..1 hour later, after my regular Sunday Sunday naija phone call. me and my stupid big mouth, now i have to go back to the mall, and buy the bags for both my mum and my sister, i hope the sale is still on then.
..another 3 hours later,oya, this is toyintomato vexin big time, i give up, this my naija jet black hair, has failed me again, this is the 2nd time, i am tryin to dye it dark red , and it comes out brown...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy me!..Baba God all i want is red hair?
..i have decided, i will do night vigil and prayer and fasting, by next week toyintomato's hair must turn red, before the chicago trip on August 5th..."i call this operation red hair by 05."..hahah
(hey girls pls i need suggestions on what product i should use to dye my hair red, since we all have naija hair)
Friday, July 20, 2007
one sunny day, my mummy toyintomato, told Alhaja Surulere, no more speakin of yoruba to this child, i dont want her to have a yoruba accent...(p.s i think my mum just read one of those nonsense child development books, my mother is like this, 2 much education jargon)
..the problem: Alhaja Surulere aka my grand mum does not understand a word of English
being that toyintomato and Alhaja Surulere were pretty close, we reached a compromise, she would speak her correct Abeokuta Yoruba with me, i would reply in my perfect private school queens English..kappish
...the problem: most people usually assumed i didn't understand a word of Yoruba.....hahaha
..and so the drama began.
one perfect Sunday evening, Alhaja Surulere's association of jobless women whose kids pay for everythin, were discussin the next official color of their gele/head tie, the debate was over gold and green, or pink and silver gele.the argument was tough, some people did not have any lace to match either color (hint, thats my grand mum, and so she was tryin to find a way to disrupt the meetin)
..hummin away to nothin particular, walks in toyintomato with a whole mug of dry milo and powder milk, chewing away with no care in the world.
ehh ,what is this?.., the Association women, were in utter shock!, what is your grandchild eatin, ehh, she is goin to spoil her teeth.
my grand mum smiled, and said, maybe you women, should just tell the child,thats how toyintomato was forced to join the meetin grudgingly and reluctantly abandoning my wonderful cup of dry milo and milk, then my grandmum said, by the way she does not understand yoruba..
the 3 oldest ladies burst out screammin, ehh kin, ko gbo, ..she dosent understand what, how???, why, how did you let this happen to your first granddaughter.. ..what a shame!, so its only englis she speaks, how will anyone know she is from the south?
My Grandmum replies: her mother refuses to teach her.
total confusion catched the women, how are they goin to relate to this child......so thats how translation woman, volunteered, she told the other ladies that she had 4th grade/primary 2 education so she was the most knowledgeable in the speaking of English language.
....so she the tried..
association women: aburo=child, you know powder mik,is fery bad 4 your mouth(with heavy yoruba accent)
toyintomato: noo way, this milk is perfect, gives me calcium, sugar for energy, and even contains all the recommended vitamins for healthy bones( said in perfect queens English with fone)
association women: so fun=tell this shild she will have jedy-jedy
the woman translating :toyintomato, shey, u know dat sickness, wish cosin belly pain sickness eferywhere, all and arounds te body
i am holdin my toungue , tryin really hard not to laugh, meanwhile my grand mum is givin me the "if you talk look"...instead i ask..." what type of pain is this?"
translatin woman: ehmn, the sickness, that iya sikira's shild haf last week.
me: that was just constipation.
association women: hmnn ko ma gbo= she is not understandin...., kilamashe=what are we goin to do
....the translatin woman is trying her best, thinkin very hard , analyzing the subject-verb agreement on the words she is goin to use to explain this illness to me, finally she smiles....
translatin woman: oya toyintomato, does you kno, about Agbo-jedis?..(thats the bitter stuff made with alcohol and different plant roots/extracts and herbs)
me : what is this jedis?.....(i added my queens English fone, for emphasis......lol)
translation woman: jedis is sickness, cauzin you to run fast to shalanga, ehm toilet
me: no way , i use laxatives every sunday, my system is perfect .........( referring to the exact same agbo jedy we are talkin about..hahaha)
..by this time, the lady translatin was already frustrated, she asks my grandmother...klass wo lowa= what class is this girl in skool,this her englis, is not the same , i kno.
....with sweat pourin from her forehead, concentrated determination, and mastering all her primary 2 english education words she sighs with resignation and says....
...." omo yi=this child, ...jedis is goin to cash you, vefy plenty. you will sare ehmn run to toilet, and shit will will be poring..purrrrrr, gburrrr, skphurrrr, raptartapgpatttt, without control from your yansh...
...clap! clap! clap!, the other women started congratulating the lady translating on her English skills, the woman translating then ended with this thank you speech. ....thanks you eferyone, that shild wans to senior my englis ,lai, lai, nefer , me iya modinot, wife number tree, sowed thats i ams still educasion, evens if, it is primarys 3 , longs time ago.
....my naughty grand mum, was giggling all this while, knowing fully well, i could understand every single word of yourba , they were all speakin., but she was happy that she had distracted the meetin from the color of gele topic..lol
(p.s : i think jedy-jedy = pile/dysentry, am not really sure,
Abgo -jedy= herbal combination of alcohol and plant roots, barks leaves /extracts and herbs used for preventive /cure for infant dysentry, ususally very bitter )
Friday, July 13, 2007
my mojo is down,some bad energy people at work are mentally drainin me.
don't worry , i have reported them to Baba God, He will handle all of them 4 sure, tryin to mess with toyin tomato, aka omo labi eyin lari.
maybe if i write somethin about the past, i will feel better...
okay i call this totally hilarious and ridiculous past datin events, i hope it comes out right, i was actually thinkin of doin a series on it, but am not sure....
1: i met this bobo in church..back home,he seemed cool, he was tall, everythin seemed perfect, thats how i sha agreed to grace him with the company of toyintomato for a date..lol.
it was a saturday date, and it was kinda late, so i never looked at the bobo's face, well, as i sat down, and looked up, ori mi, yeepah, what have i gotten myself into..this boy's lips was pouring,..no let me correct myself..drippin with lip gloss, ..not chapstick oh , but the glossy lipstick that girls use.
as i was tryin hard not to stare, thats how the bobo , brings out the pink shimmery lip gloss, pulled out the brush and started applyin it to his mouth.i whisper a silent prayer..pls God,just this once, dont make me laugh, plz plz,..
anyway, the boo started talkin about how, he has really dry lips, and his sister gave him this chap stick(chap kini, this is gloss get it right) ..this his sister must not like him at all.
....anyway our food arrived, i was happy. thats how the bobo, said do you mind , can we say a little prayer, as a church girl, i said of course.
the prayer started, we prayed for the children in Somali, we prayed for our country Nigeria and its leaders, we had mini praise and worship, we even did testimony, after like 40 mins, the bobo now asked me, if i wanted to add anythin to the prayer, ..ehh after all that, i just smiled and said i was good. wetin i wan add again, when angel gabrel is already standing with us...lol
(lesson learnt ..be very careful of prayer warriors in church)
2:: this was a lunch date, one of those places at V.I. the guy kept saying my name includin my last name when he was talkin. i really like my name, so i did not vex. so he continued talkin that he, had met my mum at a meetin before, and he just kept on staring at my mum and dreammin.
which type of talk is this... thats how i asked with style, that do you think this is appropriate, considering that you are talkin about my mum, the bobo refused to stop, saying how wonderful my mum looked for her age..blah, blah balh..thats how, i told him this is the last time, i would go out with him. the bobo kept quiet.
..gboa!screechhhhhhhhhhhh.. we hit the curb, he started drivin on the side of the road(the one near the beach), he kept on sayin he was goin to drive into the ocean..eya egami, which kin were(=crazyman) be this, you shld have seen me, all my shakara stopped, kappish!. i started serious beggin, even my fone left my mouth, i added Yoruba.."olowo ori mi", my dear , pls don't do this , i don't want you to hurt yourself, i promise i will call you..blah blah..
.he finally agreed to take me home. you shld have seen me pira/run like a ravin lunatic from his car,when i got home, i locked my gate , and went straight to Mummy toyintomato,and gave her his phone number, let her handle this were alasho/undercover crazyman.
(lesson learnt : crazy people can also dress nice)
this is not working, am still feelin drained, maybe if i go to the club, i will fell better.
sorry pips, am out, i promise to reply all your comments from the last post later ...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
PhD Guy: so do you have good news for me
me: hmmnnn am not sure, tell me all the details of this trip again
PhD guy: girl! why are u tryin to make a big deal out of this, just come its a free trip, u will be stayin at the Hilton Palmer house, why are you over thinkin the situation
me: are you tryin to harass me
PhD guy: no not really, i dont understand why girls cant ever make up their minds. do you want to go or not, why are u acting like a baby
me: are u callin me a baby???
PhD guy : not really, you are a mature young lady, doin her masters and will eventually run a company and you cant even make a simple decision in less than 5 mins, you do the math.
me: hehehe... are you sayin i cant make up my own mind???
PhD guy: so i take it you're not commin then..
me: i just opened up the website, and confirmed the reservation.kappish(see how my stupid stubborn head always displays itself..lol)
PhD guy: it took you long enough...
.....hisssss, see my life, this boy just finished harrasin, and bullyin me, and i fell right into it, my playette skills are slackin big time.anyway ,i guess am goin to chicago, August 5th-8th.
(p.s funny thing , i am no more that excited about the trip ,instead i am lookin forward to the trip not the guy, so i am prayin really really hard that my red ribbon shld surface durin this trip, this typewriter doesn't want to type with Phd guy..hahaha)
"to my fellow blogers"
..thx for all the suggestions, as you can all see, my stubborn head ruled again, i did not even take 1 minute to think about all your wonderful suggestions..lol. now you can all see why my mother is always prain hard for me, i am too damn stubborn.
(red ribbon=menstruation.sorry guys i kno its 2 much information.lol)
Saturday, July 7, 2007
i got a surprise call from my ex-something like a boyfriend aka undergee,
i really don't want to call him my boyfriend, lets just say we were "goodfriends"..wink!
...this boy invited me for an all expense paid trip to Chicago ,in august, hotel room the whole works, he is involved in an accounting conference happening there.
anyway this guy and i were in the same masters program, he started a few months ahead of me, he was cool, his body was tight, kinda confident and a little arrogant(i like my men this way, don't worry me too am stubborn, i always like a good fight...hahah)
so he and i had a great rapport, i could always match his Witt any time,
one day, i went to his apartment to work on a class project,...hmnnnn then we made "sweet music" together ..(stole this line from a blogger), i saw the light!, it was very bright...lmao
the music was great, don't you just love guys that their bodies are fit, they can go on forever, just like a horse...lol , one round is so borrin and anti climatic....
fyi :this good friendship with music ,kinda lasted for a whole year..hahahah..music is good for the soul...lol
we were both mature about this which was so cool, i even organized him for a couple of my friends..there is always love in sharing a great! long! firm! very hard! ."fill in the gaps"..wink!
..so anyway this boy graduates , he is goin to do his Phd in another state, and we mutually agreed , that there will be no strings. he wants to marry a girl that will be submissive, i am not that, he wants someone from his country, somewhere in east Africa, i am from west Africa, we both love to flirt..i honestly consider myself a "playet"..haha
.....this boy, now calls me ,sayin "i was the best" what the heck does that mean
now he wants to spend the weekend with me, and he tells me he has been playing in local tennis championships, so he is fit and and all ready for me....yepa. this boy wants to fire my va-jayjay...heheheh, egbami o= save me
but again, the "analyst "in me is questionin this, "what is the catch?
he can easily get loads of girls, he flirts a whole lot, he is good lookin, ..so what is the catch?
anyway he says i have to confirm the reservation by july14th,if i am goin,
i am so confused.....
(p.s fyi=for your information)
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tuesday, Fell down 2 1/2 times, tuesday 12pm, and also 4:30pm: my boss brought an exercise ball, to work cos her ass was hurtin..(she is pregnant). anyway me and my "i 2 kno, started doin exercises on the ball and showin everyone in the office different forms of exercise,and thats how the stupid ball started rolling all over the place, i couldn't get my balance, and i was doing a certain move..(see the picture at the side bar) and before my very very eyes, i was seeing my self rollin...eh,without any time to think and i switched to yoruba straight ....yepa idi mi o!, am going down, thats how i fell yakata all over the floor...and tippin over everything in my path..this included, tables, chairs..everything.
bad enuf, i fell, then the Hr director came to see me, and was asking what happened, so stupid me i got back on the ball to show her how i fell down..( ..olodo) and of course..i fell down again, hit my desk, and some cabinets...at least i did not scream anythin out in yoruba.....lol local girl.
Wednesday, Danced on top of the table,..so i have a ridiculous habit of jumping on tables and dancing if i hear i song i like,..hmnnn i wonder, maybe i have a hidden ambition to have a career related to tabletop dancin..wink! lol. anyway my homie knows i like the "roll it girl" song ..(currently playing on my blogg), so when i was at his place, he played the song , i jumped on the table...shaking my useless flat, ass as much as it could possible shake(yeah rite, shakin what my mama gave me..lol), so this stupid boy did not tell me the table was broken.(they like playin pranks on me)...and again i fell yakata, at least he caught me before i reached the ground..haha
Thursday, Broke my big toe nail..i really should stop hangin out with guys, anyway we bought a soccer ball, and as usual, i was the only girl that wanted to play soccer with the guys..(p.s the girls were all doin shakara) i did not bring my sneakers, so i decided to go au-naturel aka no shoes, bad move i kno, but i wanted to play so badly and i refuse to play with my very cute red shoes..haha,
anyway sha this boy refused to leave the ball and me am the defender, anyway he kicked me so hard , that he broke my toenail, i did not even scream, true!, but you trust me to 2 , i did not gree.. my team won the game...i retaliated using my skills.lol, anytime a guy was comming towards me, i just acted like i was goin to pull up my tank top..haha, it distracted them..lol..girl power!
Friday, very happy with my mum.. finally she called me at 7:30am, i was really getting tired of the 4 am phone calls, and i warned her that i would just become, like the typical naija, that dosent pick up phone calls, if she calls me that early again, haba, i just slept at 12midnight and 4 hours later, i am supposed to have a meaningfull conversation..no way!
anyway the phone call was long..as usual, she passed the phone to everyone in the house to talk to me, even if i did not remember them, she asked about any husband prospects..( my answer , none..!lol), she reported my younger sister to me, like i can do anything from here, she reported her driver to me , cos he took too much takeaway food at an owamabe party they went to, ..she continued talkin..at this point i tuned her off, i love my mum, but damn! she talks!....after like 15 mins of tuning her off, then she prayed for me,....yeah! that i like,if God should score prayers, my mum's prayers is like an A++, it practically scares the devil, from even thinking about harming me.true!
Friday lunchtime, shot just 1 guy down, shooting is the term i use for turning guys down.The total rating points for a date 100 ....so this guy was okay, he was taller than me, add 2o points to his score, he was good lookin..not exceptionally fine that i wanted to commit suicide!, add another 10points to his score, he was religious 30 more points to his score,he talked about his mum..add a bonus 10 points, he dressing was sharp and on point ..a correct 20 points no deduction..lol, he said i looked like i was 18yrs old....40 bonus points..haha he made my 26yr old head swell.. then the story turned sour, he said he is "looking to go back to skool"..yepa no education, -40 from his points, he just moved back from Atlanta, he is lookin for a job..eh , dat automatically is -80 from the scores, and he is 24 rys old..dammit , that a -20 from the score... this is not looking good.
...and so it was with deep regret, that i had to shoot the boy down, when he asked for my number, i gently, without any form of shakara told him, that it wont be a good idea, cos i kno i wont pick up his calls,..he was so cool about it,he said he understands, and he hopes the next guy i date will be charmin and respects me...damn, he is mature, add 150 bonus points back to his points, but i have already turned him down...damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! stupid girl,thats why you don't have a boyfriend yet....hahaha
Spent 2 hours on the phone: i got a call all the way from naija, from a very special person, and i so badly want to talk about it, but i know i will get in trouble so , i am not goin to blogg about this..sorry guys
Monday Excise: no form of exercise what so ever, i am very happy and gave my self a treat, i fit into my size 4 jeans.....yeah men, toyintomato's shape is on point,figure 8 here i come..move over tyra and naomi...haha
and thats the summary of my week...this post really is too long, i will try to shorten it next time
(p.s thx for all the comments, and everyone for stoppin by, even the anonymouses...i can see you all..lol)..hmnn did i get the spellin of anonymous...lol
Monday, June 25, 2007
...so i couldn't put the book down to type on my blog.
so on saturday, at this picninc at the park, one of the aunty's of the host, this lady is 50yrs old, starts talkin about gettin on a pole, and she was doin the gyration moves..(i wasnt surprised,.. nothin shocks me nowadays)
thats how she continued to educate me how, if "things"..wink!..wink! start gettin loose downstairs , i should just wash down there with vinegar...chineke! , Ori mi oh! .what did this woman just say....while i was tryin not to act shocked, my brain was tryin hard to do the physics, chemistry, calculus, and even advanced mathematics of how vinegar could shrink the "you know what"..and again how did it slack, or better still do guys actually notice this..(p.s i wold appreciate guys comments here)
anyway as i was busy pondering the dynamics and chemical reaction of vinegar and our va-ja-jay..i remembered way back in naija ,how one of my family friends, broke up with his girlfriend for having "alum crystal in her handbag" he kept on saying "i cant believe it" she is cheating on me, the babe cried her eyes out that she loves him, and has never cheated in her life, she even was swearing with her bible...saying she wanted to give the bobo the best possible satisfaction he could possibly have.Poor girl, the guy did not agree to take her back, anyhow me and my busybody mouth , i kept on asking the girl how exactly do you use it, becos there really isnt a prescribed way to use it , its not like she bough it from the pharmacy with instructions on the packet. anyway the girl never answered me.
...thats was how ,my brain was wheeling with this vinegar story, but again i pondered , what is the politically correct way to ask for the application of this" wonderful drug" .don't worry the woman did not wait for me to ask, she continued her story on how you should run a bath, and put the vinegar in the water and just soak up in the bath...(i was impressed!)
...anyway, i did not get to hear the end of the story, one guy pulled me away give me his collection of dating lyrics
..so dats how i missed out, but anyway which one is my own, original busybody, why do i need to know the application details of vinegar and alum crystal, am sure my va-ja-jay is on point.
(p.s i have put the link for the meaning of alum, it is usually used to clean the slimy stuff of snails back home in naija , or in boarding skools, it is used to clean a bucket of water.....that is officially the only use of alum i know..haha)