the Trouble with lagos

Okay, maybe i feel a bit better, after running around blogville in total joblessness, i have decided to give you some correct gist.

Alausa Secretariat is not for the weak

So this early afternoon, i had an appointment in alausa , i wanted to look"Hot!!(insert dbanj Mogono feli feli soundtrack)

thats how my naughty grandmum cooked jollof-rice with meat and moi-moi as breakfast. politely i told her that the outfit that i was wearing would not permit and i say it again PERMIT- any form of eating whatsoever.
my grand mum was highly distressed at this sad turn of evens and promptly called mummy toyinyomato to address the issue.

result- i had a heavy breakfast, and grad mum toyintomato was appeased

so at 2pm, due to traffic reports at ikordodu road and ikeja about the impossibility of driving , i proceeded to master plan B and took a Cab/taxi to alausa.(My only great idea)

- thats where the problem began

i decided to sightsee a little bit and got out a few miles before my stop , since i have not had the opportunity to see lagos on foot.(my first bad idea for the day )

then it happened, the first Honk, hmm

then this same car went and made another Uturn to come around, then a second car started honkin at me,

note to guys- Honking at girls on the road is so not cool.

to avoid further embarrassment to my babe status , i decided to cross the street hurriedly(my second bad idea for the day) thats when two Ibo guys got off and okada and started hooting at me, mind you my skirt was not short and my boobs was not out.

thats when i occured to me i really should not be walking the streets of lagos if i am really shy.
and thats the trouble with lagos

Today, i remebered

Dont know what to write

Today i thot about my EX, i Hate thinking about my EX

Today i thot about all the people owing me stuff- i wanst too happy

Today i remembered broken and delayed promises to me

Today, i missed me

Today i remembered my resolve never to cry over a guy

Today i wondered why i always end up getting hurt

Today i did not smile

Today i missed dear friend , God

tomorrow will be a better day , i owe it to myself.

Maybe its time for me to Hide now

so i found my diary from 2003, a bunch of crap and a bunch of hilarious hilariticios stories

since its my dairy this might be more personal than funny , so enjoy

Nov,02,2005: Description of Guys or maybe one guy in my life

So am waiting for Mr Right or Mr out of Sight, and then i begin to doubt, so i decide to have a little fun with MR FOR NOW and wind up hurt and confused

I spend some time with MR TOO Good to be TrUE until i realize , he IS, and am left with a broken heart.

MR ALMOST and MR PRETTY come along, but the more i get to know them , the further from the ideal they seem. they are NOT perfect, but if i am honest neither am I

Then Gbam!! Mr SEEMINGLY GOOD but BAD comes along then am sucked back it again..gosh! when will this cycle end.

his name is ERIC!!!

Eric, and i have become very good friends, fortunately i can never recognize him.

...so this is the tory of how i met Eric,

after a long and exhausting and totally excruiating day( wey dem.. i used big grammer...a round of applause for me)
so back to the gist, at precisely 3 :23 am..(don't worry i know the exact time)
thats how madam Tot- starting hearing

oh Eric!..OH! ..oh!.. Oh ERIC

thats how i open just one eye look at my bedside clock..3:20am , i adjusted my sleeping position, checked my windows and put my sleep back in cruise control and carry go.

**hiss , nonsense neighbors.. trying to wake madam T up inbetween my sweet fanimorous, fantastic and inactual fact joloful sleep

2:23 am- ERIC, ERIC...ERIC......haba winsh ones is this Eric...(*this early momo)

2: 37 am - gboom!!!, gboom!!! haba see me see trouble my wall is vibrating

Mr Eric was getting his grind on at my own expense
.
.options to consider
1: hit the wall back with a stick
2: call the cops - complain about noise disturbance
3; ignore him , the average **** (fill in the gap) rate is 20 mins, he will soon tire


i choose option 3, you people know how i LUrve my sleep. by now my anger was raised to power 5 ... but as a correct babe i checked the anger .. quick quick..

finally my sleep ran way, and gbeboruniciousnities took over , i decided to see , how long Mr Eric can go on
.
4:am- everyTHing is quiet
4:10am- Mr Eric started again
4:28 am - Mr Eric stopped
5:12 am - Mr Eric started again

Haba ..serious vexation of the highest order, abi these oloribuku's dont have work this morning it 5am, i have lost 2 hours of sleep.
..i refuse to get angry, you know am single "wink"..i don't want to act like a frustrated desperado..hahah

6am- No way, Mr Eric is still goin strong.

Due to my utmost respect for Mr Eric in achieving this unbelievable feat for 3hrs, i decided to call in to work late to honor him and listen for his GRAND FINALE..

unfortunately.. i fell asleep!!!.. SEE MY LIFE ..

but i know i can always recognize Mr Eric- i got his

soundtrack!!.."wink"

yePAAH- see my Life

in actual fact i am totally horrifies, No ..no wrong word, , i am totally embarrassment and disgraced.
the last time i blogged was in May, this is September.

..everyone begged, they sent email, the made phone calls, ..and my stupid, gbense, stubborn head, refused to make time ... i busy chasing boy up and down boston , and now "boy " has gone, so am back to being single again, ...hahaha

..shhh, now i have to add this to my list of things i don't see thru.

anyway..AM BAAAAACK!!!, this might not be too regular but i will at least try.

to get myself back into the "inner circle of Blogville"

MAdam Tot- aka toyintomato is back,
decided to be 2008 compliant

Larer

Walk into the Guy's Toilet..Nobody will stop you..True!

okay, so i was at the airport, and as usual, the planes were delayed, anyhow, i was funmming and lamenting, cause, i was supposed to be at work, and my darling boss does not play with lateness- aka Tardiness..

anyway.. so piss was catching me, and i walked over to the ladies, however i was talking to one of my toasters and he was trying to calm me down, so i did not want to enter the ladies.."you know guys can actually hear you when you pee, they just pretend like they did not hear anything :)

on a side note..am loving this song right now..wait at 48secs, my dance moves goes into over -Drive




anyway back to the story, so i was walking in circles.."hot piss delaying tactic"..so when the boy finally got of the phone , that's how i ran in the toilet, as i entered, i saw one baba smile at me, so am like..hmnn this airport must be co-ed.

so, thats how , i carry go, i continued walking in looking for a free stall..that's how, i was confronted with exactly 3 bare buts of guys..,

my stupid brain still did not click... i was like okay i will check the left side, they will have the toilets that have doors that you can close...(p.s its not my fault my skool is co-ed, gender equality crap.so nothing surprises, guys sleep in the same room with girls....and so many other things)


finally my light bulb blew up...Shooo!... am in the guy"s toilet...

if you see the 4-40 , i used to run out, i carried my 2 kobo-kobo Leggs and ran like hot piss was catching me(which in fact it was )..
anyway the airport security guys saw me run, u shld have seen them they laughing so hard !

..stupid me, i was talking on the phone and i did not look up at the sign for the toilet, i just waka /walked in like my father built it...also how come the guys never even stopped me, they were all just smiling

lesson learnt= if you go into the guys toilet, no body will stop you! ..

HMnn i wonder, .. will they have ever told me, i was in the wrong toilet/bathroom

Assault of one boobs and many boobies

okay i know, the weather is getting warmer, but, haba, is it becos i am new to this city, or maybe it is a trend, ..
so i got on the T,aka subway, this morning , and low and behold, a pair of nipples assaulted my very dear eyes,.. so my serious curiosity got hold of me, and i looked up to see the face that owned the boobies, it was an Old Woman, okay so maybe she was tired of wearing a bra, i forgave her lack of judgment,

a couple of minutes later, at south station, i am going up the stairs, and i raised
my head up...KILODe..what What..damn!!, another set of waist level boobies, this lady's boobs, was almost hitting her belly button.

what maybe this is a Boston craze, you know am from Rochester, its really cold there, so nobody is would even dare leaving their house bra-less, before the -2 degree cold weather will freeze ure damn titties off, its goin to be like somehone is hanging some large ice cubes off your boobs, .....lol, i digress again...sorry.

okay back to my story of the boobs assault, so i decided to grab a smoothy and of course, i saw another bra-less, hanging boobs, so i decided not to be bothered again,

based on my empirical survey and serious analysis, i think this is a Boston trend, maybe its an unspoken tradition, ""when the weather is warm, throw out your bras""..hahha..

oky, so i got on the train, and finally had peace, yeah, i could read my paper with being assaulted from left right and centre,
so i opened up the paper, the first 5 sentences i read, i screamed like a true RAzzz BABE that i am, the guy behind me was like,..oh you just read page 1.(cant find the link, but its a TRue!! story, ..touch my tongue)

so the article was that, they caught a New jersey cop, getting a Blow job from a Cow, oya let me use proper English, he was receiving fellatio aka oral sex ...hahaha, from a COW!, its officially called bestiality to animals...hahahah

poor cow, how did the cow know its supposed to suck, oh ..my useless brain, is coming up with so many explanations..

but one thing i am sure of, without any doubt in my mind, the bra-less boobs of these Boston old women,is a serious contributing factor , to that guy going to do the Nasty-Nasty with cow..

"shaking my head"....really !!

Am just goin to write...ENJoY....

oky, so it has been stupidiously crazy, like crazy raised to p0wer 35555,
for me, any everytime i try to write i start thinking, which messes up my mojo, ..anyway thanks omosewa, and catwalq ur posts always makes me recall why i started blogging, ...

so am here listening to omosewa' blogg music which i do ...all the time, i know i am just a useless girl, always blogg stalking and not leaving comments.. but hey...lol

so what been happening, to me.....2much ,
So, to day on the subway/T/Train, just in case, i call it different terms, i met "nukie"..he claims he is an underground rapper in Boston, wetin concern abgero with over load, i was like huh, so...
poor boy, am sure in his circle he is a star, but for me...he was kind-off wack.

as usual, lots of ridiculous things always happen to me, ..

ah, i am super excited, my bestest shoe in the whole Wide world, had been repaired,
if you see, how i searched high and low, for a cobler/shoe maker, ..for the first time, i missed my "baba toyin" aka the shoe maker at yabatech, the baba could fix any type of shoe, TRUE!..

okay back to my story, thats how the cobler guy looked at my shoe and shaked his head...i know what must have been goin thru his head, but professionalism and my serious biz suit refused the guy from taking,..hahahah

all he said your bill is $17 bucks, i did not even price/ask for a discount..

me seff i know i have worn that shoe, till all its made in china is showing, the heel came off, i still rocked the shoe,
the side of the heel started peeling, so i used black marker to color it black to match the shoe..haha,
finally the metal in the sole came out and i still racked the shoe...na me, i know.

so it was with great pleasure that i picked up my shoe from the cobler, and to my splendiferous happiness, it looked like brand new, so i happily wore it wo work this morning.. catwalking and doign my Naomi Campbell walk all over south station, Boston..hahah.

Original cost of shoe =$14.99
location =, Rochester, Ny
Fixing of sole and general rehabilitaion of shoe= $17.99
Age of SHoe= 10 months and still counting.
My expression when i picked up the shoes = Priceless..no no , in fact it was extreme excitnedness...hahaha

Still Busy

America's Sub prime loan situation and On-coming recession is freaking everyone out, so everyone is refinancing, unfortunately the economic environment isn't helping

the result: need to hire more people to deal with the paperwork overload

conclusion: toyin-t has a new job in JP Morgan, Boston
Thank you God!

my new apartment is ok, still in the process of moving

Mc Dreamy is back in my life, does accidental farting/messing count against your babe factor..hahaha

so i let an accidental one rip..hahah, you trust me, i just closed my eyes and pretended like i was asleep..lol,

the eventful life of the dating process and making a good impression.

i'll be back later
loads of love
Toyin-t

Busy ..Busy..Busy

sorry, pips, it might take a a couple of weeks for me to settle down,
just relocated to Boston, for my new job, trying to settle down into my new apartment,

so give me some time, everything is very hectic right now

i'll be back...
hahah
Toyin-T

and i really liked this one.....(shhh ..its a secret)

you know, i really should just give up on guys...true talk. gbo-gbo nonsense yi, is just getting on my last dam nerves.

becos all this dramatilizations occurring in my ever crazy life never seems to end.

okay, so i hung up the phone on him, whats the big deal, maybe i was just looking for a way out that will hurt his feelings and give me a clear pass to waka away= move on

you know,

1: his work hours were crazy, i wasn't talking or seeing him, i had a slight feeling it was all about sex,

2: anyway i was getting tired of the falling asleep on the phone crap becos he is tired and just came out of surgery,

3: or the putting me on hold, drama becos his pager went off,

4: or no being able to go out on proper dates cos he was on call and his hospital might page him,

5: or him working nights, or him coming to take me out on dates in his scrubs becos he was really tired and culdnt go home to change....the list goes on

to continue the story, hahah, i brought up the issue of us not hanging out, thats how this brotha starts talking about me saying i want a relationship, ..WHAT. i think he must think he was God's creation to girls..

he wasn't listening, he was just hearing what he wanted to hear, i wasn't talking becos i wanted to take this further, i was talking becos i was tired!!

there really was no point trying to tell him that i was tired of all this and wanted to waka far=walk away.

so i just hung up the phone..KAPPISh.. end of story, so am single again...as usual
...so here is another story again about me and guys.
and i really liked this one.

update:....
not to sound like a bitch, i really liked him, but he not making time for me was hurting me,and i had to look out 4 myself.
his schedule/work hours was crazy , this wasn't his fault. it was the wrong time for both of us. i had to let him go or he was goin to end up hurting me.

My Gorimapa/Bald Look..yes i am wearing a wig in the picture.

oya, let me give you pips the full gist

...sometime in November, when extreme studying, and exhaustion with life occurred to me,
i decided to cut off all my hair, besides the hair dye was also breaking my hair .
true talk, my hair looked like a homeless person combines with dry crayfish and it was horredious, in baba- suwe's word.. my hair was very suspicious..lmao

...so back to my story, before i cut the hair, all the hair stores refused to cut, it giving me B.S story like deep conditioning blah blah....as a self reliant babe, when i got home i took my ever reliable scissors and cut the whole damn thing, .....now let me explain,

...nooo i wasnt depressed, i was just tired of the lifeless hair.

i cut it Gorimapa..style, just like a guys hair...its was the perfect baldy, ..i was taking showers and washing my head every freakin morning.....you shld see the joy in my face...pure bliss..ahhhhhhhhhh

so anyway, i bought 2 correct wiggs, that i put on my head when i go out..
..i know what you guys are thinkin, ..and NO the wigg never fell off my head..haba, have more faith in me, okay maybe a couple of times , i have had some near fatal occurrences with the wigg....

..so i went to BT, for job interview, i was staying my my friend, usually i take off the damn wig , when i am gisting or having fun, it constricts my style.

..anyway, my friend told me, one of her office guys was commin over for dinner, but he was pretty borring, so i shouldnt stress. ..me i was okay, whatever, since the guy is boring, i wont bother beautify myself.
(beautifying = puting the wigg on, applying powder, mascara, lipgloss, the whole pancake effect..lol)

..anyway the guy came, and i was with my gorimapa/bald head, playing and talking, after like 4 hours , he said we should go out for , drinks,.

ehmm did this boy say drinks ..yeparipah, extreme shock , infact totally stunned, see how my brain was calculating faster than excel...damn!!!!
..thats how , i decided i will just rush up, and come back and act as if nothing changed, maybe the boy will not notice than my hairstyle changed within 2 secs..flat...

..so i told the bro to give me a sec, thats how toyin -t ran upstairs to put on my wigg, while i also sent 2 express prayer request to baba God, pronto!...
prayer
1: Dont let this boy remember i was with my gorimapa/bald head before..
2: pls Lord, dont let him remember, dont let him remeber..(added some speaking in tongues here for jara..)

anyway, as i got down,
...he was like whoa!!! what happened ???.

TT's reaction, was priceless,
i was very calm, and acted both shocked and surprised
huh.., what is this homie talking about,
of course, there is nothing different about how i look, .. NoW!, ... abi??

Geisha tagged me, so now my yarsh is in the open air ..hahaha

okay...here it goes...

names i go by

• TT, toyin peperempe, omo-labi eyin lari(we gave birth , it is teeth we see..haha), breakable, Nigerian nightmare ..okay i guess i should stop..

2 things i am wearing right now
....ehm..em..slight cough..hahah, you this girl, u want me 2 show my self haba...okay oh

• pink socks and victoria secret body bra..hahah.

2 things i want to have in a relationship

• ..hmn..laughter, smiles...the rest can always take care of it self.

2 of my favorite things to do.

• ..talk...i really talk a lot..true,

• dance, take long walks

• read...okay i had to add this,mummy toyintomato would be mad, if i dont

two things i want really badly.

• samsung 40 inch flat screen...haha i know, my mouth is 2 big

• BMW x5....just /

so that i dont look like my mouth has diarrhea.., i would also like .....oh i give up, i just want my T.V

2 pets i had to have..

ehm..wetin concern agbero with overload, did this girl say pets...

anyway as a correct yoruba girl, my dear mother told me that i don't need pets as long as i have a very big extended family.

• instead i do plants/flowers, i have a nice 4 potted plant garden..growing nicely..hahah

2 things i did last nite.

• sent a text to my crush that i felt like kissing him....unfortunately the nonsense and konkobility stupid boy refused to reply me...ori mi oh, see my life....hahahah

• listen to asa songs..click on the website..here

2 things i ate last nite.

• 7pm= turkey sandwich and yogurt.. haba i am on a diet, this figure 8 sepe-sepe..must come(copyright Shina peters...hmnn i wonder is shina-P still alive???)

2 people i talked to

• my home girl from Boston,she was in traffic/goes slow ..and needed some of my ever reliable , this is not a counterfeit talk-talk mouth to keep her goin..lol

• my mum, they have a new housemaid, ...and it is a boy...naija housemaids= plenty hilarocious hilarity drama.

2 things i am doin right now

• chilling like chin-chin ....hisss ....norrin of course..am online typing this!

2 longest car rides.........here i have to agree with geisha

• driving down to kankon, my high school, on the outskirts of Lagos/badagry

• driving down in the ekene dili chukwu bus for my Nysc in isia-langua..i cant remember the state...i am so sure i have completely murdered the igbo names...."everybody bend down for the arrow!" , TT is shootin some language bombs...hahhahah

2 fav holidays..
duh!!! of course..all the holidays..abi didn't they call it holiday..kilode!..everyday is a parry for me...

fav beverages.

• just water...i know borin!
  

• Grean tea..okay i know its not a beverage ..shh, abeg wetin concern me ..
  

person no longer alive i'd like to talk to.
..hmnn cant think of any

....ehh, ehh, flashing light bulb in my brain.., i think i got tagged a while back ..click here for that post.

damn.. am so sorry i will catch up on the previous comments later.

i got hit with Lemons...i made a DaMn good LeMonade!! haha

so where do i start with all the splendiferous dramatilizations of my dramatic life..lol

i passed my MSc. Finance comprehensive exam...yeah! 6 hr exam is no joke... remembering all i have learnt from my very first class...in fact i have to stop my self here, and congratulate, baba God, for giving me this brain.

..big Gbosa and splendorous Thank you 2 Baba God.. kilode.
answering 12 questions covering all the classes in my degree...is no joke

anyway back to another topic.. fortunately, they refused to graduate me, after passing the pass/ fail exam, i got a nonsense letter about me not takin statistic foundation class...

anyway to save the unnecessary and jagbanjantis talk, and ...i agreed to take the class online , the skool is payin for everything, since they messed up.. anyway ."the devil is a liar" i will graduate in February.

so i have 3 months , well its 2 months now, to chill, all expense paid, while i take foundation statistics.. to which i have already passed the pre-requisites classes,...hahah

after effects of studying nonstop for 3monts, no gym, no contact with people , no T.V, just me my textbooks lots of crappy fast food and my new boo " the library" = 6pounds weight gain..okay maybe its 71/2 pounds ...lol

so whats been happening in blog world, i see omosewa has gone private..kilode,
i haven't really made my blogg rounds yet, so i am little stale on info.

thanks for all the comments,Christmas and happy new year greetings...expect the toyin-toma to hit up everyone's bloggs soon.
more gist also commin up,

hint..
1- discombobulated crazy guy stalkin me..(notice new vocab)
2- princess toyin-t , from Africa harassing human resource personnel...haha,
3- toyin-t gone wild in newyork and new jersey...."my drink and my 2 step"...
4- kilode toyin peperembe is being beautified...beyonce move over, rihanna take cover..

lol
i really need to be less corny..its 2008!
toyin.., umbrella, ella, eh eh eh...lmao