documented effects of alcohol and me

first.. of all a big thanks to all the comments, i will try to reply to most of the comments.(i am still figuring out how to do that..haha, u know i am slow when it comes to computer things)

....yesterday, it was so hot,i took a power nap at 5:30pm and eventually woke up at 9pm, so obviously i wont be able to go back to bed..
i called everyone i knew, about suggestions on things to do that will make me fall asleep.
here is the list of the suggestions...
1:my pal , said i should drink hot cocoa..i did not work.
2: heard i should watch a boring movie ..dat also failed.
3:i even tried random reading of blogs..i was still awake
4: heard i should eat till am stuffed, had pancakes, potatoes, pasta aka spagetti..i only ended up in the toilet...now its 2am , no sleep yet
5:read my most boring text book, which has never failed to knock me out, i calculated all the formulas on hedge fund strategies, option pricing analysis...etc ....i still didn't fall asleep
6: went thru my phone,called my ex-booty call, he did not pick up.....yeye boy.
7:counted sheep..lol , like that ever worked,.... abeg, i stopped counting at 85,495sheeps

..then my fantastic roommate suggested, i drink a Smirnoff(beer), because i will surely fall asleep..this is the story behind that

.....my dad, is a correct drinker, he can drink from "officially 12pm at work" to 9pm at a beer parlor. no form of alcohol is safe from him...big stout aka odeku to star..aka sunshine,jony walker and even paraga and still be okay to drive back home, have an intelligent conversation with a police man,argue that badagry pips are the original lagosians and not isale eko pips,do my homework with me and still show no effects of alcohol.
...but nooooooooooooooo, of all the things he should pass down to me, he failed me at that. if i should take a sip, of anything alcoholic, i start acting like am on some serious alabukun overdose
below the 10 things i usually do, when i take a sip of alcohol
1: slurring on my words
2: shouting and ask everyone around if i am shouting
3: flirt with everyone in sight even girls
4: dance like there is no 2morrow, even if the music is not playing
5: try to have an intelligent conversation on determining the sex of ants, and its relation to political tension in Nigeria
6: discuss "with myself" which African president is the Most ugly...........any suggestions
7:talk with anyone who cares to listen, on how if you swim from Boston you will eventually get to the beach in Lagos
8:eventually start doing a strip tease.....i dont believe this, but my friends have a video tape they promised to use when i become the Nigerian finance minister.
9: throw up everything i have ever eaten in the past year, ranging from amala and efo riro to my Chinese vegetable fried rice.
10; and Finally i pass out and cant remember shit when i wake up

so it was with so much disappointment that i finally realized, my dad did not pass on his alcohol tolerance trait to me...
with all the past documented alcoholic related events of my 26 years of living, i made a mental note to myself..not one sip of alcohol, even if someone calls me an egbe,slacker, or a party pooper. i am usually on a natural high, i dont need alcohol to make me "higher"...
say no to peer pressure, yeah rite, who am i kiddin...lol

....with the known effects of alcohol and me, my roommate suggested i drink a beer to fall asleep,i drank just a little bottle, and as usually, i banged on her door, made an ass of myself and fell asleep..finally!.

..its 7:10 am i cant wake up, i have a hangover, i cant feel my legs, i feel so slow, am i ever gonna get to work today...i hit the snooze button again, its 7:24am, there is no hope 4 me..the devil is a liar!, over my dead body tofiapa , i will not ruin my perfect resumtion time of 7:55am sharp nigerian time...
so i did not go to work, i called in sick today, so i have to go in to work 2morrow/Saturday to finish my projects...i am definitely not happy about this...no clubbin, no hanging out, this friday sucks..
...moral of today, try , try and try again, i am still trying hard, to beat the effects of alcohol and me, i will survive, am i not the daughter of my father.."i have dream that one day, i will drink alcohol , and will not make an ass of my self, and not even have a hangover the next day, but for today all i can drink is "coke on ice"