..toyintomato

Getting ready to Hide

2008-12-29T14:06:00.000-05:00

soon, i will be gone.

the Trouble with lagos

2008-12-20T15:57:00.003-05:00

Okay, maybe i feel a bit better, after running around blogville in total joblessness, i have decided to give you some correct gist.

Alausa Secretariat is not for the weak

So this early afternoon, i had an appointment in alausa , i wanted to look"Hot!!(insert dbanj Mogono feli feli soundtrack)

thats how my naughty grandmum cooked jollof-rice with meat and moi-moi as breakfast. politely i told her that the outfit that i was wearing would not permit and i say it again PERMIT- any form of eating whatsoever.
my grand mum was highly distressed at this sad turn of evens and promptly called mummy toyinyomato to address the issue.

result- i had a heavy breakfast, and grad mum toyintomato was appeased

so at 2pm, due to traffic reports at ikordodu road and ikeja about the impossibility of driving , i proceeded to master plan B and took a Cab/taxi to alausa.(My only great idea)

- thats where the problem began

i decided to sightsee a little bit and got out a few miles before my stop , since i have not had the opportunity to see lagos on foot.(my first bad idea for the day )

then it happened, the first Honk, hmm

then this same car went and made another Uturn to come around, then a second car started honkin at me,

note to guys- Honking at girls on the road is so not cool.

to avoid further embarrassment to my babe status , i decided to cross the street hurriedly(my second bad idea for the day) thats when two Ibo guys got off and okada and started hooting at me, mind you my skirt was not short and my boobs was not out.

thats when i occured to me i really should not be walking the streets of lagos if i am really shy.
and thats the trouble with lagos

Today, i remebered

2008-12-20T15:22:00.004-05:00

Dont know what to write

Today i thot about my EX, i Hate thinking about my EX

Today i thot about all the people owing me stuff- i wanst too happy

Today i remembered broken and delayed promises to me

Today, i missed me

Today i remembered my resolve never to cry over a guy

Today i wondered why i always end up getting hurt

Today i did not smile

Today i missed dear friend , God

tomorrow will be a better day , i owe it to myself.

Maybe its time for me to Hide now

2008-12-11T05:38:00.004-05:00

so i found my diary from 2003, a bunch of crap and a bunch of hilarious hilariticios stories

since its my dairy this might be more personal than funny , so enjoy

Nov,02,2005: Description of Guys or maybe one guy in my life

So am waiting for Mr Right or Mr out of Sight, and then i begin to doubt, so i decide to have a little fun with MR FOR NOW and wind up hurt and confused

I spend some time with MR TOO Good to be TrUE until i realize , he IS, and am left with a broken heart.

MR ALMOST and MR PRETTY come along, but the more i get to know them , the further from the ideal they seem. they are NOT perfect, but if i am honest neither am I

Then Gbam!! Mr SEEMINGLY GOOD but BAD comes along then am sucked back it again..gosh! when will this cycle end.

his name is ERIC!!!

2008-09-22T21:30:00.009-04:00

Eric, and i have become very good friends, fortunately i can never recognize him.

...so this is the tory of how i met Eric,

after a long and exhausting and totally excruiating day( wey dem.. i used big grammer...a round of applause for me)
so back to the gist, at precisely 3 :23 am..(don't worry i know the exact time)
thats how madam Tot- starting hearing

oh Eric!..OH! ..oh!.. Oh ERIC

thats how i open just one eye look at my bedside clock..3:20am , i adjusted my sleeping position, checked my windows and put my sleep back in cruise control and carry go.

**hiss , nonsense neighbors.. trying to wake madam T up inbetween my sweet fanimorous, fantastic and inactual fact joloful sleep

2:23 am- ERIC, ERIC...ERIC......haba winsh ones is this Eric...(*this early momo)

2: 37 am - gboom!!!, gboom!!! haba see me see trouble my wall is vibrating

Mr Eric was getting his grind on at my own expense
.
.options to consider
1: hit the wall back with a stick
2: call the cops - complain about noise disturbance
3; ignore him , the average **** (fill in the gap) rate is 20 mins, he will soon tire

i choose option 3, you people know how i LUrve my sleep. by now my anger was raised to power 5 ... but as a correct babe i checked the anger .. quick quick..

finally my sleep ran way, and gbeboruniciousnities took over , i decided to see , how long Mr Eric can go on
.
4:am- everyTHing is quiet
4:10am- Mr Eric started again
4:28 am - Mr Eric stopped
5:12 am - Mr Eric started again

Haba ..serious vexation of the highest order, abi these oloribuku's dont have work this morning it 5am, i have lost 2 hours of sleep.
..i refuse to get angry, you know am single "wink"..i don't want to act like a frustrated desperado..hahah

6am- No way, Mr Eric is still goin strong.

Due to my utmost respect for Mr Eric in achieving this unbelievable feat for 3hrs, i decided to call in to work late to honor him and listen for his GRAND FINALE..

unfortunately.. i fell asleep!!!.. SEE MY LIFE ..

but i know i can always recognize Mr Eric- i got his

soundtrack!!.."wink"

yePAAH- see my Life

2008-09-21T21:42:00.003-04:00

in actual fact i am totally horrifies, No ..no wrong word, , i am totally embarrassment and disgraced.
the last time i blogged was in May, this is September.

..everyone begged, they sent email, the made phone calls, ..and my stupid, gbense, stubborn head, refused to make time ... i busy chasing boy up and down boston , and now "boy " has gone, so am back to being single again, ...hahaha

..shhh, now i have to add this to my list of things i don't see thru.

anyway..AM BAAAAACK!!!, this might not be too regular but i will at least try.

to get myself back into the "inner circle of Blogville"

MAdam Tot- aka toyintomato is back,
decided to be 2008 compliant

Larer

Walk into the Guy's Toilet..Nobody will stop you..True!

2008-05-17T23:55:00.001-04:00

okay, so i was at the airport, and as usual, the planes were delayed, anyhow, i was funmming and lamenting, cause, i was supposed to be at work, and my darling boss does not play with lateness- aka Tardiness..

anyway.. so piss was catching me, and i walked over to the ladies, however i was talking to one of my toasters and he was trying to calm me down, so i did not want to enter the ladies.."you know guys can actually hear you when you pee, they just pretend like they did not hear anything :)

on a side note..am loving this song right now..wait at 48secs, my dance moves goes into over -Drive

anyway back to the story, so i was walking in circles.."hot piss delaying tactic"..so when the boy finally got of the phone , that's how i ran in the toilet, as i entered, i saw one baba smile at me, so am like..hmnn this airport must be co-ed.

so, thats how , i carry go, i continued walking in looking for a free stall..that's how, i was confronted with exactly 3 bare buts of guys..,

my stupid brain still did not click... i was like okay i will check the left side, they will have the toilets that have doors that you can close...(p.s its not my fault my skool is co-ed, gender equality crap.so nothing surprises, guys sleep in the same room with girls....and so many other things)

finally my light bulb blew up...Shooo!... am in the guy"s toilet...

if you see the 4-40 , i used to run out, i carried my 2 kobo-kobo Leggs and ran like hot piss was catching me(which in fact it was )..
anyway the airport security guys saw me run, u shld have seen them they laughing so hard !

..stupid me, i was talking on the phone and i did not look up at the sign for the toilet, i just waka /walked in like my father built it...also how come the guys never even stopped me, they were all just smiling

lesson learnt= if you go into the guys toilet, no body will stop you! ..

HMnn i wonder, .. will they have ever told me, i was in the wrong toilet/bathroom

Assault of one boobs and many boobies

2008-04-24T22:47:00.005-04:00

okay i know, the weather is getting warmer, but, haba, is it becos i am new to this city, or maybe it is a trend, ..
so i got on the T,aka subway, this morning , and low and behold, a pair of nipples assaulted my very dear eyes,.. so my serious curiosity got hold of me, and i looked up to see the face that owned the boobies, it was an Old Woman, okay so maybe she was tired of wearing a bra, i forgave her lack of judgment,

a couple of minutes later, at south station, i am going up the stairs, and i raised
my head up...KILODe..what What..damn!!, another set of waist level boobies, this lady's boobs, was almost hitting her belly button.

what maybe this is a Boston craze, you know am from Rochester, its really cold there, so nobody is would even dare leaving their house bra-less, before the -2 degree cold weather will freeze ure damn titties off, its goin to be like somehone is hanging some large ice cubes off your boobs, .....lol, i digress again...sorry.

okay back to my story of the boobs assault, so i decided to grab a smoothy and of course, i saw another bra-less, hanging boobs, so i decided not to be bothered again,

based on my empirical survey and serious analysis, i think this is a Boston trend, maybe its an unspoken tradition, ""when the weather is warm, throw out your bras""..hahha..

oky, so i got on the train, and finally had peace, yeah, i could read my paper with being assaulted from left right and centre,
so i opened up the paper, the first 5 sentences i read, i screamed like a true RAzzz BABE that i am, the guy behind me was like,..oh you just read page 1.(cant find the link, but its a TRue!! story, ..touch my tongue)

so the article was that, they caught a New jersey cop, getting a Blow job from a Cow, oya let me use proper English, he was receiving fellatio aka oral sex ...hahaha, from a COW!, its officially called bestiality to animals...hahahah

poor cow, how did the cow know its supposed to suck, oh ..my useless brain, is coming up with so many explanations..

but one thing i am sure of, without any doubt in my mind, the bra-less boobs of these Boston old women,is a serious contributing factor , to that guy going to do the Nasty-Nasty with cow..

"shaking my head"....really !!

Am just goin to write...ENJoY....

2008-04-10T19:36:00.004-04:00

oky, so it has been stupidiously crazy, like crazy raised to p0wer 35555,
for me, any everytime i try to write i start thinking, which messes up my mojo, ..anyway thanks omosewa, and catwalq ur posts always makes me recall why i started blogging, ...

so am here listening to omosewa' blogg music which i do ...all the time, i know i am just a useless girl, always blogg stalking and not leaving comments.. but hey...lol

so what been happening, to me.....2much ,
So, to day on the subway/T/Train, just in case, i call it different terms, i met "nukie"..he claims he is an underground rapper in Boston, wetin concern abgero with over load, i was like huh, so...
poor boy, am sure in his circle he is a star, but for me...he was kind-off wack.

as usual, lots of ridiculous things always happen to me, ..

ah, i am super excited, my bestest shoe in the whole Wide world, had been repaired,
if you see, how i searched high and low, for a cobler/shoe maker, ..for the first time, i missed my "baba toyin" aka the shoe maker at yabatech, the baba could fix any type of shoe, TRUE!..

okay back to my story, thats how the cobler guy looked at my shoe and shaked his head...i know what must have been goin thru his head, but professionalism and my serious biz suit refused the guy from taking,..hahahah

all he said your bill is $17 bucks, i did not even price/ask for a discount..

me seff i know i have worn that shoe, till all its made in china is showing, the heel came off, i still rocked the shoe,
the side of the heel started peeling, so i used black marker to color it black to match the shoe..haha,
finally the metal in the sole came out and i still racked the shoe...na me, i know.

so it was with great pleasure that i picked up my shoe from the cobler, and to my splendiferous happiness, it looked like brand new, so i happily wore it wo work this morning.. catwalking and doign my Naomi Campbell walk all over south station, Boston..hahah.

Original cost of shoe =$14.99
location =, Rochester, Ny
Fixing of sole and general rehabilitaion of shoe= $17.99
Age of SHoe= 10 months and still counting.
My expression when i picked up the shoes = Priceless..no no , in fact it was extreme excitnedness...hahaha

Still Busy

2008-03-02T10:49:00.003-05:00

America's Sub prime loan situation and On-coming recession is freaking everyone out, so everyone is refinancing, unfortunately the economic environment isn't helping

the result: need to hire more people to deal with the paperwork overload

conclusion: toyin-t has a new job in JP Morgan, Boston
Thank you God!

my new apartment is ok, still in the process of moving

Mc Dreamy is back in my life, does accidental farting/messing count against your babe factor..hahaha

so i let an accidental one rip..hahah, you trust me, i just closed my eyes and pretended like i was asleep..lol,

the eventful life of the dating process and making a good impression.

i'll be back later
loads of love
Toyin-t

Busy ..Busy..Busy

2008-02-27T22:40:00.003-05:00

sorry, pips, it might take a a couple of weeks for me to settle down,
just relocated to Boston, for my new job, trying to settle down into my new apartment,

so give me some time, everything is very hectic right now

i'll be back...
hahah
Toyin-T

and i really liked this one.....(shhh ..its a secret)

2008-02-02T01:27:00.000-05:00

you know, i really should just give up on guys...true talk. gbo-gbo nonsense yi, is just getting on my last dam nerves.

becos all this dramatilizations occurring in my ever crazy life never seems to end.

okay, so i hung up the phone on him, whats the big deal, maybe i was just looking for a way out that will hurt his feelings and give me a clear pass to waka away= move on

you know,

1: his work hours were crazy, i wasn't talking or seeing him, i had a slight feeling it was all about sex,

2: anyway i was getting tired of the falling asleep on the phone crap becos he is tired and just came out of surgery,

3: or the putting me on hold, drama becos his pager went off,

4: or no being able to go out on proper dates cos he was on call and his hospital might page him,

5: or him working nights, or him coming to take me out on dates in his scrubs becos he was really tired and culdnt go home to change....the list goes on

to continue the story, hahah, i brought up the issue of us not hanging out, thats how this brotha starts talking about me saying i want a relationship, ..WHAT. i think he must think he was God's creation to girls..

he wasn't listening, he was just hearing what he wanted to hear, i wasn't talking becos i wanted to take this further, i was talking becos i was tired!!

there really was no point trying to tell him that i was tired of all this and wanted to waka far=walk away.

so i just hung up the phone..KAPPISh.. end of story, so am single again...as usual
...so here is another story again about me and guys.
and i really liked this one.

update:....
not to sound like a bitch, i really liked him, but he not making time for me was hurting me,and i had to look out 4 myself.
his schedule/work hours was crazy , this wasn't his fault. it was the wrong time for both of us. i had to let him go or he was goin to end up hurting me.

My Gorimapa/Bald Look..yes i am wearing a wig in the picture.

2008-01-20T21:13:00.000-05:00

oya, let me give you pips the full gist

...sometime in November, when extreme studying, and exhaustion with life occurred to me,
i decided to cut off all my hair, besides the hair dye was also breaking my hair .
true talk, my hair looked like a homeless person combines with dry crayfish and it was horredious, in baba- suwe's word.. my hair was very suspicious..lmao

...so back to my story, before i cut the hair, all the hair stores refused to cut, it giving me B.S story like deep conditioning blah blah....as a self reliant babe, when i got home i took my ever reliable scissors and cut the whole damn thing, .....now let me explain,

...nooo i wasnt depressed, i was just tired of the lifeless hair.

i cut it Gorimapa..style, just like a guys hair...its was the perfect baldy, ..i was taking showers and washing my head every freakin morning.....you shld see the joy in my face...pure bliss..ahhhhhhhhhh

so anyway, i bought 2 correct wiggs, that i put on my head when i go out..
..i know what you guys are thinkin, ..and NO the wigg never fell off my head..haba, have more faith in me, okay maybe a couple of times , i have had some near fatal occurrences with the wigg....

..so i went to BT, for job interview, i was staying my my friend, usually i take off the damn wig , when i am gisting or having fun, it constricts my style.

..anyway, my friend told me, one of her office guys was commin over for dinner, but he was pretty borring, so i shouldnt stress. ..me i was okay, whatever, since the guy is boring, i wont bother beautify myself.
(beautifying = puting the wigg on, applying powder, mascara, lipgloss, the whole pancake effect..lol)

..anyway the guy came, and i was with my gorimapa/bald head, playing and talking, after like 4 hours , he said we should go out for , drinks,.

ehmm did this boy say drinks ..yeparipah, extreme shock , infact totally stunned, see how my brain was calculating faster than excel...damn!!!!
..thats how , i decided i will just rush up, and come back and act as if nothing changed, maybe the boy will not notice than my hairstyle changed within 2 secs..flat...

..so i told the bro to give me a sec, thats how toyin -t ran upstairs to put on my wigg, while i also sent 2 express prayer request to baba God, pronto!...
prayer
1: Dont let this boy remember i was with my gorimapa/bald head before..
2: pls Lord, dont let him remember, dont let him remeber..(added some speaking in tongues here for jara..)

anyway, as i got down,
...he was like whoa!!! what happened ???.

TT's reaction, was priceless,
i was very calm, and acted both shocked and surprised
huh.., what is this homie talking about,
of course, there is nothing different about how i look, .. NoW!, ... abi??

Geisha tagged me, so now my yarsh is in the open air ..hahaha

2008-01-17T17:19:00.000-05:00

okay...here it goes...

names i go by

TT, toyin peperempe, omo-labi eyin lari(we gave birth , it is teeth we see..haha), breakable, Nigerian nightmare ..okay i guess i should stop..

2 things i am wearing right now
....ehm..em..slight cough..hahah, you this girl, u want me 2 show my self haba...okay oh

pink socks and victoria secret body bra..hahah.

2 things i want to have in a relationship

..hmn..laughter, smiles...the rest can always take care of it self.

2 of my favorite things to do.

..talk...i really talk a lot..true,

dance, take long walks

read...okay i had to add this,mummy toyintomato would be mad, if i dont

two things i want really badly.

samsung 40 inch flat screen...haha i know, my mouth is 2 big

BMW x5....just /

so that i dont look like my mouth has diarrhea.., i would also like .....oh i give up, i just want my T.V

2 pets i had to have..

ehm..wetin concern agbero with overload, did this girl say pets...

anyway as a correct yoruba girl, my dear mother told me that i don't need pets as long as i have a very big extended family.

instead i do plants/flowers, i have a nice 4 potted plant garden..growing nicely..hahah

2 things i did last nite.

sent a text to my crush that i felt like kissing him....unfortunately the nonsense and konkobility stupid boy refused to reply me...ori mi oh, see my life....hahahah

listen to asa songs..click on the website..here

2 things i ate last nite.

7pm= turkey sandwich and yogurt.. haba i am on a diet, this figure 8 sepe-sepe..must come(copyright Shina peters...hmnn i wonder is shina-P still alive???)

2 people i talked to

my home girl from Boston,she was in traffic/goes slow ..and needed some of my ever reliable , this is not a counterfeit talk-talk mouth to keep her goin..lol

my mum, they have a new housemaid, ...and it is a boy...naija housemaids= plenty hilarocious hilarity drama.

2 things i am doin right now

chilling like chin-chin ....hisss ....norrin of course..am online typing this!

2 longest car rides.........here i have to agree with geisha

driving down to kankon, my high school, on the outskirts of Lagos/badagry

driving down in the ekene dili chukwu bus for my Nysc in isia-langua..i cant remember the state...i am so sure i have completely murdered the igbo names...."everybody bend down for the arrow!" , TT is shootin some language bombs...hahhahah

2 fav holidays..
duh!!! of course..all the holidays..abi didn't they call it holiday..kilode!..everyday is a parry for me...

fav beverages.

just water...i know borin!

Grean tea..okay i know its not a beverage ..shh, abeg wetin concern me ..

person no longer alive i'd like to talk to.
..hmnn cant think of any

....ehh, ehh, flashing light bulb in my brain.., i think i got tagged a while back ..click here for that post.

damn.. am so sorry i will catch up on the previous comments later.

i got hit with Lemons...i made a DaMn good LeMonade!! haha

2008-01-12T11:05:00.000-05:00

so where do i start with all the splendiferous dramatilizations of my dramatic life..lol

i passed my MSc. Finance comprehensive exam...yeah! 6 hr exam is no joke... remembering all i have learnt from my very first class...in fact i have to stop my self here, and congratulate, baba God, for giving me this brain.

..big Gbosa and splendorous Thank you 2 Baba God.. kilode.
answering 12 questions covering all the classes in my degree...is no joke

anyway back to another topic.. fortunately, they refused to graduate me, after passing the pass/ fail exam, i got a nonsense letter about me not takin statistic foundation class...

anyway to save the unnecessary and jagbanjantis talk, and ...i agreed to take the class online , the skool is payin for everything, since they messed up.. anyway ."the devil is a liar" i will graduate in February.

so i have 3 months , well its 2 months now, to chill, all expense paid, while i take foundation statistics.. to which i have already passed the pre-requisites classes,...hahah

after effects of studying nonstop for 3monts, no gym, no contact with people , no T.V, just me my textbooks lots of crappy fast food and my new boo " the library" = 6pounds weight gain..okay maybe its 71/2 pounds ...lol

so whats been happening in blog world, i see omosewa has gone private..kilode,
i haven't really made my blogg rounds yet, so i am little stale on info.

thanks for all the comments,Christmas and happy new year greetings...expect the toyin-toma to hit up everyone's bloggs soon.
more gist also commin up,

hint..
1- discombobulated crazy guy stalkin me..(notice new vocab)
2- princess toyin-t , from Africa harassing human resource personnel...haha,
3- toyin-t gone wild in newyork and new jersey...."my drink and my 2 step"...
4- kilode toyin peperembe is being beautified...beyonce move over, rihanna take cover..

lol
i really need to be less corny..its 2008!
toyin.., umbrella, ella, eh eh eh...lmao

Disapearing Act

2007-11-08T22:29:00.000-05:00

my finals are coming up.

so it is with much craftiness. ToyinT is performing her usual disappearing act...lol

need to study hard, i don't want TO GIVE mummy toyintomato, a reason to fly down here and give my yarsh some correct naija homemade ass whopping

...the fear of Mummy toyintomato is the beginning of excellent grades..lmao

AND a VerY bIg shOut oUt to Callywaffy babe..HAPPY BUFfDAY..MWAHHHHHHHHHHH!

see you guys after my finals
i will reply all your comments then..

signing off
Madam Toyintomato
Self appointed Special Adviser to the Special adviser of the Special Adviser of the Honorable Minister of Information and gossip...hahahah

3 gbosa for ToyinT

2007-10-25T19:09:00.000-04:00

GboSA......gBoSa!....ggGGGbOOSSssA!...hahaha

me sef, i tire, anytime i read my posts it almost like i am always on a roller coaster aka Toyin-T the emotional roller costar..guys be very VeRy AFRAID...brouhaha, i am so corny..( sorry Vivian green)
.
fery plenty tory, plenty tory, i say.

my crazy friend that had an accident , just bough a new car, i refuse to judge, lai-lai, i will not mutter a word. ..oya a little bit..so why did she crash her car in an "alleged" accident. hmmn.." shaking my head".....the many scams in America...anyway, i haf comot eyes.

..so what else is happening, i have gone to harras my professor to give me an A, you should have seen, me, Toyin-T at my best, i told prof R, i want an A in this class.any way the naughty prof has aggreed to improve my grade, if i participate more in class, during my period of serious confusications with life, i did not talk in class. i think the Baba Prof kinda missed me.
so i have promised him a full representation of the Toyintomato in classes for the next 2 weeks..

what else is new, haba , see me and me talka-tiveness, okay so i work the front desk( my school job), so i have to answer inquires ..blah.blah blah in short i am a recep/ student office assistant. what ever.

anyway back to my story, a student called and was harrassing me on the phone, i am usually very calm, so i was telling the person calmly, to go to the school website and find the information, after 3 different explanations and the girl still refused.. thats how, my original accent started coming out, then i heard
" TOYIN-T, is that you on the phone , shakaraing me"
..yeparipa.. see my serious laughter. anyway i found out it was one of my friends. so i did the favor for her.

...next what else, anon, is really stressing about my under gee, serious gbeorun , most likely we are related(we both inherited the Gbeborun gene..haha)
anyway if release the full gist, the it will no longer be an undergee relationship. and remember my olowo Ori mi( unknown future fantastic husband) is going to see/read this blog,and i dont want to have to lie.
"undergee has promised me that he will be with me till i marry. so most likely future olowo ori mi might meet him. and so Undergee will forever remain undergee, sorry pips .

..okay, on a side note, i know i have a terrible habit of not replying comments, i really have to work on this.

..what else, see me , i finally went to the GYm, yepa. extreme shock and surprisation of the highest order, i have gained 5 pounds( uk people , do the conversion to kg, my maths has failed me here)
anyway, see how i hit the treadmill i was determined.. operation "beat the pounds" have started, all my semi -fatty foods have gone, i am counting calorie like i am Oprah's best friend(Gail move over jare).
it remain small i wanted to start writing a food journal , then i remembered . this is Toyin_T the Original, the Lepa, in the Lepashandi, the Oreke, in the Orekelewa, Break in the Breakable( nic name in skool), the PLe, in the Omo to Ple, the tomato in the oya i dont have anymore,

digression without purpose, nonsensity
..so i Hiss this useless Fat does not know who it is dealing with.

...what else is new in my life, yes!, there is a guy i think has a crush on me, he invited me out on Friday, i really don't want to go, number 5999999, on Toyin T's words for existing in this crazy world of dating says .

"don't go out with a guy , you are not interested in, even if the guy is really nice and looks good. say No!!!."

its really practical, most people will know, you will just end up hurting the poor boy for no reason entirely, and damage him for the next girl.. remember i am doin this for the other Single girls out there..haha.

..so what happened with waffycallbabe, i missed all the drama..double Dam.Damn, i am, very sure, it will be related to anon comment. anyway i will go and read "citypeople" this will tame my Gbeborunities for a little while.

hey Fumni, i got you email, hope you are still reading the blog, a couple of my friends have found this blog, no shaking, i have nothing to hide. and in true razz style " big shout out to my Kankon family"

... since i am on this topic, i want to send a request to my Family...
broda, plentz sista,... my uncke kosamo,.... my Aunti tomtom,.... Daddy toyin-t, Big Mummy Number 2,... our drifer baba Action aka babs the action Man...hahahah .

hope you guys are still reading just a temp lapse to channel 7 father christmas time request show ..hahaha

i really am corny, i always seem to crack my self up each time..LMAo

anyway have fun off to class as usual.
later.pips.

i am tired

2007-10-21T15:02:00.000-04:00

..to say i am tired is an understatement, ..so many things are goin on right now, so i am just goin to ramble, please bear with me. my brain/thots have no order right now.

my God father said i should come home, i think he and i have a kindred spirit, he said i need a break.
i changed my mind about applying for my Phd , i really hope i dont regret it later, i will postpone it until 2011.
my undergee, is mad, he wants me to do the Phd, i think he wants bragging rights with his friends, or maybe not, he really isnt like that, he has always supported my drive to succeed, so why is he mad??
i have never had a break, its either skool, or one professional exam or the other, i am forever studying.
i wish i can earn a job as a window cleaner. i don't want to think, i don't even want to be rich, i just want to exist..does that make sense.

anyway, i am job searching now, i need a job by December, why am i not looking forward to this.
i can feel my grades slipping, my hope of 3 A"s is gradually slipping to 2 b's and 1 A, i need to wake up, but i am tired.

i know i have gained weight, but i am tired, i dont feel like doin anything.
....one of my family friends committed suicide, everyone is scared, i know i am not depressed, i am just tired.

maybe, i am tired of living up to the standards, my sister calls me the golden child of the family, ..blah..i motive all the other kids, i am tired of motivating people.
i cant go home yet, i have to do all the numerous other professional exams i promised my mum i would do.

i heard i have to loose more weight becos everyone is expecting me to look on point when i get home,

there is a guy in naija calling me, i know he is bullshitting me, why is he callin me??, i know he has a girlfriend in lagos, i heard he told everyone that i am supposed his yankee girlfriend..nonsense guy.why is everyone hyping me up.

i have to by my ticket to go to atlanta, i dont feel like going, my family is going to be showing me off, i am tired

i want to be just regular, i want to fail, i want to be kicked out of skool, i want the horrible boyfriend that nobody likes, i want to be fat. i dont want to be someones dream.i am tired.
i know i sound a little ungrateful, baba God i really am so sorry.

i wish..i would wake up from this dream i made for my self and be just me.

The Car Crash analytical analysis... and my Leg-wagon :2006 , 2.5i

2007-09-28T17:29:00.000-04:00

damn, old age in full effect, .. ehm, " clearing throat"...i seem to have forgotten all the gist i was saving,.Ahah..i haf remembad.

Title: car crashing into building, and my Leg-Wagon: 2006 , 2.5i

..okay its, 7.30 am toyin-t, is casually walking to skool, i see my neighbour aka kem(not reall name..ofcourse!) running like a really mad person towards me..toyin-t .(for a second i wanted to run too, its lagos mentality, when someone is runnin, u also run, then ask questions later..haha)

kem finally catches up, and asks me.."did you see what just happen?"
, i say no, then she starts screamin, "I am goin to jail, ..I am goin to jail.. I am going to JAIL. ..Please take care of my kids..

..kids kini/what!, what is the woman talking about, abi she smoked something, anyway she pulls me to the other side of the road and i see her car crashed into one of my school's apartment buildings (..if she wasn't hysterical, this was infact a very comical sight)
.
.so i asked , hmnnn how did this happen. kem replied..i was backin out/reverseing out of the driveway and the car wouldn't stop.

...me toyin-t, was very doubtful about kem's official story
okay let me give you a mental picture,
so she backed out reversing from her driveway into the main highway,... then the car did not stop, and crossed over to the other side of the road, this car then continued moving.
hmm there is a huge hill separating my skool from the road. so kems car backed "UP " a hill , then backed"DOWN'' the hill, the fell into the parkin lot(because there is a huge curb there).. and STILL did not stop, then this same car then SPUN around, missed the dumpster, and finally hit the BUILDING!!!
..my pips do you get the picture...with my analysis , my brain refused to gree,/agree that a car can backup /reverse up a huge hill.

anyway sha, one guy saw me by the car, and called the cops/popo/police, thats how as a naija girl, i started walking away, the boo refused to let me go, saying i have to wait for the police, abi this boy chop winsh,

first: i did not witness the accident=i did not see anything.
2: i did not call the cops, he did
3: the most important, i have a test at 12pm, that is the main reason i am in America
4: shoo, i dont know kem from anywhere, this is America.

..so i put my ever reliable mode of transportation, My Leg-Wagon:2006, 2.5i, in gear/drive and made damn sure i wasnt going back, wait for police ko,...wait for the police ni...

..see me se trouble, kiloshele,..early monday moring, i am waitin for police, .."hiss" when, i have better things to do.

got to run
toyintomato aka toyin-B for busy is off again off to another study session, my social life is so gone right now.
thanks for all the comments. as you can see, i am replying in the naija style..late as usual, no vex.
love toyin-T
have a great weekend/week

..abi craze is cashing this guy

2007-09-19T00:50:00.000-04:00

..see the nonsense and concobility the email sent to me

Good Morning,

After reviewing your account we have found that you had another laptop fine on August 15, 2006 in the amount of $475.00 which was paid.
Based on this information we are not able to waive your fine of $25.00.

Thank you,
Dirk W

...toyintomato, is mad, honestly honestly , i am praying for this dirk guy, because he is testin me ,..big time.
this is what happened.

i borrowed the laptop from my library for my group meeting and i returned it 30 mins late, kappish. normaly for 20-40 minutes lateness ..the fine is waved.

this guy now sent me this email, i dont think toyintomato would pay $400 bucks for a fine(abi i chop winch)..who dashed me the money.
anyway , i told them there must have been some type of computer error, the bobo refused to gree, saying that if i can pay $400 what is $25

see me se trouble, over 20 mins lateness.he was very rude to me, which was uncalled for, abi i offended the guy somewhere.anyway i am taking it to his superior and for the first time i am considering adding racial prejudice story to my dispute.

i am actually thinking of gettin the guy fired(this is soooo unlike me) but you should have seen how the guy rubbished me on top of $25 bucks. it even remained small i wanted to vex=annoyance and pay the stupid fine.

but in all honesty, it think i am being singled out, and i do not know why????

the stupid guy just gave me a headache,
okay let me go back to bed this nonsense is depriving me of my sweet sleep

toyin-t is goin to bed,and i better not have a dream about this stupid nonsense, becos when i get to the library 2morrow i will Beg-Gi for every person there (copyright= fuji house of commotion)

UPDATE: SEPTEMBER 24TH : ALL FINES HAVE BEEN WAIVED FROM MY ACCOUNT!!!

brain freeze and another set of random gist

2007-09-14T19:57:00.000-04:00

..hmnn, i think, i am getting used to this random gist style..(its the lazt way out of not writing whole stories)
...so what happened..

....yes, i have become fully americanized, as i was jejely walking, at the campus apartments, i saw 2 guys and a girl walking strangely..the babe was wearing her pajamas, obviously my gbeborun instincts pick up, the i heard her screaming , "you promised never to hit me"..blah blah blah, so without a sec to think i carried my phoned and called the popo aka police to report the domestic violence,hmn after i started thinkin, if i was in naija wuld i have called the police. oh well , carry go jare.

my pips, will i ever be taken seriosly..i tire oh.
so in my Options class, i was answering a lot of questions(i think the prof likes calling my name)
so anyway he asked for the answer from one of our assignments, my brain freezed big time, see me see trouble, the guy gave us 20 questions..did he think we wuld actually get to the last question..
so i resulted to naija style of classroom avoidance and removed my eye from the prof's line of vision, as i was concentrating on this mode of operation, one nonsense fly started disturbin my gloriously permed hair, so i started waving my hands to get the fly off.

the prof:" miss toyintomato, i see you have an answer for this problem"
me:"yeparipah.., am sorry prof, i do not know the answer"
prof: " so you just felt like waving your hands
me:" ehmn, prof Robin, actually there was a huge fly , hovering around my head...(by this time i was giggling so hard)

..anyway the class started laughing, and the prof forgot about the question
honestly ..honestly..this was not a planned distraction move.. although all copyright belongs to me.

..okay now i haven't heard this question in a while, so am sorry i just had to laugh
one of the ladies in my team, she is American by the way, age=35,works full time, and doin her MBA, asks me
"oh toyintomato, you speak english so well"
for a sec, confusication caught me, is this woman that dumb, anyway i just started laughing, she was looking around like she said some thing wrong.i choose not to enlighten her..heheh

...Progress in class:..(this was the email i sent to my mum..she is a lecturer and i have to fulfill this part or she will call me at 5am in the morning)

1: i totally bombed my globalization presentation, i choose to take blame,lack of preparation, one of my team members refused to meet, and did not show up until 10 mins before class.
..note to self, it really is tiring when you are teamed with up with someone who is working full time.
2: my second group is worse, first guy hasn't been in skool for 10 years, he keeps asking me questions already in the text book. gosh just read the dam text book, ..simple or tell your assistant to give you an executive summary

3: love my 3rd group, we are the team to beat, ...hahaha

on another random hopeless gist
...so as i was waiting at the bus stop,i heard a black guy speak chinese, see how surprisation caught me, i did full stop with my legs to see this with my 2 ko-ko-ro eyes.
eh, this i have to see , i did full 10 mins of non-embarrassed/lack of shame ,watching this guy converse with a Chinese guy..my goodness i was impressed.
Respecting my old age, i choose not to ask the black guy where he learn't to speak Chinese

..okay pips of to do homework, i have a couple of team meeting tomorrow, and i want to sound intelligent
later pips
love Toyintomato

On a Sad note

2007-09-09T16:21:00.000-04:00

Rest in Peace Tosin Fuja (Nee Abatan) May 1981 - August 2007.

i just found out this news, and i have been crying ever since,

Tosin was indeed a very unique girl, her quiet soul, her smile..she was a true friend.

we both went to Model college together
and grew up together in Agege...funny we used to call ourselves the "Agege babes"...gosh!

i really dont know what to write, because my hand shaking.
my heart goes out to her family, her husband..(sigh...)

the Almighty GOD will be with your family , husband and child.

Am Backkkkkkkkkkkkkk!..random gibrish

2007-09-06T21:59:00.000-04:00

okay, this week was crazy with a capital C, Correction K....hahah
classes have started in full force,checked out all the guys, in all my classes, no boyfriend potential yet.
Baba God , one small prayer request , pls pls let a black person be in my next class, so that i can at least go out on dates. i promise i will stop microwaving potatoes and learn how to boil potatoes..hahaha

So, i sneaked down to Manhattan , to meet my boo(shhhh!! its supposed to be a secret), lets just say i am the only person that spent the week in new york city, and never got to see times square. my people, my thighs have never ached so much, at least i went to the wax museum after drinking 2 bottles of energy drinks.and that is all i am goin to say..kappish(remember my mother is reading this)...hahaha

haba, do you want mummy toyintomato to faint!

besides that, my boo aka SBO.. commented that i am not wife material, yeparipah, ori mi oh, see me see trouble, me the one and only toyintomarro, not wife material , so i listed my skills.

1: hopeless cook
2: cant be submissive
3: loves taking charge
4: hmnnn, i really cant think of anythin else, this is sad, anyway serious headache is cashin me, so i gives up. abeg jare, i owe nobody no explanations.

anyway back to another un-important gist.
.........hmnn how old is too old, my home girl met SBO and said he is a little too old for me, that i need someone younger because i am such a playful person. anyway i tend to disagree, growing up with only my mum, i believe , that when i date i always pick older men cos , deep down i still think i am looking for a father figure, ..anyway i am sure there is a psycho-analytical word for this..but me i dont care, as long as i am happy.

my original ex boyfriend(becos i dated him for over 5 yrs) emailed me. the following events occurred:

1: nonsense technology failed me: all my address blocking and filtering on both my yahoo, hotmail and hi5 accounts all failed me and allowed his email to pass through

2: My fingers failed me: as i was about to click on spam and delete to block out the message, not me but my fingers accidentally hit open.

3: the nonsense boy, sent me a bunch of crap , how he remembers me. abeg i have moved on. am thinking he is doing a psychological game, so that i can email him and ask how he is, and he will tell me he is married....(gosh i really have to stop analyzing things..)
4: the above events put the boy on my radar, and so i had a nonsensical dream about him, to this i was totally mad.

note to self, update the filter on your email accounts, i do not want to have any contact with that boy. okay as you have already guessed, it was a bad breakup, i will give the gist in another post.

on to a berra topic.... nothing crazy has happened to me yet..ahhh , i just remembered, i was diagnosed with secondary blood pressure, these Americana doctors sha , i told them,
1: i currently have 3 classes to pass and graduate
2:i am lookin for a job
3: i am moving apartments
4:i am saving for my trip back home...hell yes! i am stressed, what else is new. Nigerians thrive and function more effectively when under stress,

Abeg Dokita , just leave me. so i refused to go back to the hospital, besides i think they just want to spend my student health insurance money..hahah. so i told them i after a good day of sleep-TV and sleep, i will be okay. kappish.

...Soo, what else, as an original T.V addict, i upgraded to 300 digital cable channels..save me!!!!, you guys can see me oh, now you can understand why my blogging activities have drastically reduced..lol

...I am supposed to be doing my homework right now, but this brain is blocked, this my brain please dont fail me, olowo ori mi, the main insurance of my whole family.....abeg brain dont give up on me now. .

there is a gist i am itching to tell you guys , but the fear of my roommate is the beginning of wisdom, BaBa God Please help me to keep my mouth shut. it is becos of this useless type of temptation that i always beg my roommate not to tell me anything about her boyfriend aka smack that. see all the prayer and fasting i am doing just to keep my lips sealed..hmnnn, i tire oh

sorries to eferybodies, toyintomarro is fery bushy, clashes is ferys ferys hards. so maybees, i wons be writes and commens all the times, pleanse doesent vex for me.

.... i tried to used good queens English through out this post, my razzyness factoria is begins to ..ehm, ehm, ....comins down..hahahahaahahahaha..(i just had to let it out)

have a great week...
love toyintomato

Air Quality Violation

2007-08-18T16:52:00.000-04:00

Prosecutors :The American Lung Association and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
Defendant: Toyintomato, aka T-T, aka Toyin-T
Case: Air quality Violation

August 18, 2007: Appeals Court Denies toyintomato's case " on Air Quality violation"

Court shoots down Toyintomato's, appeal of August 2007 , ruling that the release of toxic flatulence 6 times a day violates Clean Air Act

Washington, D.C. (Aug 18, 2007) – A panel of federal judges denied appeals by Toyintomato to overturn the ruling on the quantity of flatulence released by Toyintomato.

Higher flatulence levels in a region are frequently accompanied by increased hospitalization, emergency room visits for respiratory disorders, reduction in outdoor activities and the widespread increase in the act of holding the nose.

Significantly, recognizing the harm from Toyintomato’s delay, laxity and lawlessness, the Court also “urged” her to “act promptly in promulgating a revised rule that effectuates the statutory mandate by implementing the 2 hour-hour [ozone] standard, which was deemed necessary to protect her friends, classmates, fellow bus riders and the entire public.”

Today’s decision reaffirms that Toyintomato violated the Clean Air Act by releasing flatulence in excess of the required minimum deemed sufficient for human beings.

“Toyintomato" should heed the Court’s pointed warning to act promptly to adopt protective rules that will deliver long overdue clean air to the public at large,”

The prosecution's attorney JohnBull said , this was a really hard case to prove due to the fact that most of toyintomato's farting came in the form of "silent bombs",
thankfully the toxic=stench levels matched that of toyin-t' s yarsh and that broke the case.

......furthermore Toyintomato's foot-dragging and law-breaking have a daily toll on people forced to breathe flatulence levels that doctors and scientists tell us is widely unhealthy.”
his suggested protective rules include:

1: limiting of eating of scrambled eggs to 3 times a week or less
2: total abstinence from any kind of beans possible
3: having laxative readily available to curb excessive farting.

Toyintomato's Response to all this:..."No comment!..while releasin another silent bomb..opps..lol"

(p.s..i am so sorry i haven't replied any comments or even blogg stalked in a while , i am workin like a mad person, also i am movin to a new apartment right now, and also skool starts full time on sept 3rd and i have assignments due already... in the famous words of Diana ross ..."i will survive!"..haha)

.... definition of terms :just in case you did not click on the link and haven't figured it out by now..hahah
Flatulence
1.) presence of a mixture of gases known as flatus in the digestive tract of mammals expelled from the rectum.
commonly known as 'farting', 'passing gas', 'breaking wind', 'cutting the cheese', or 'passing wind

2.)presence of gas under some degree of pressure, in a confined cubicle. The term is normally used of the presence of gas in the digestive tract of mammals, usually leaving a distinct odor

3.).)To discharge material, as vapor or fumes, usually suddenly and violently: emit, give, give forth, give off, give out,let out, release send forth.

intr.v. fart·ed, fart·ing, farts

4.)To expel intestinal gas through the anus; break wind.

5.). An often audible discharge of intestinal gas.

In 2005 Feb, a guy made me cry, 2007 August another guy made me cry...this will never happen to me again!

2007-08-08T22:33:00.001-04:00

...hmnn usually i write funny stuff, but today is not a good day,
i am not even sure i am goin to post this lets just see as it goes, ..

most likely i will write the funny stuff next week and you can come back and read it then.
..is this goin to be lengthy, i definitely think so, will i feel better after ..who knows.

...in life , you just never know, often people harras me for not datin, sayin that i am runnin from love, ..and i explain, if love has to come with pain, then i would prefer not to love.
i am a happy person, i am usually full of life, it hurts me deeply, when someone takes pleasure in tryin to kill my zest for life. it hurts, why wuld you want to see me sad..why

..maybe its the values i was brought up with, growin up in a single parent house, my mum instilled in me the ability to be happy without a guy, havin a guy around can and shld not determine my attitude to life.God has already filled my life with joy, i don't need a guy to confirm or re validate that.

..so where shld i start from... i dont know.

this is what i know , i slept on the floor in the hotel room, i cried my self to sleep for allowin this to happen to me.he took my cell phone and credit cards, cus God knows i wuld have left that hotel without a doubt at 1 am in the mornin.
i honestly wuld have preferred he hit me, at least i can fight him back, but emotional abuse hurts, and kills me from the inside , there is no way for me to fight back.

..i know i am rambling, i guess i am still workin thru all this...dear God, my best friend, my pal, who always has my back, ........"plz dont let me cry again".

..hmnnn , after a 1 hour walk...okay my pips, am back, disregard all that mumbo jumbo , i wrote before, i have re wired my system, talked to Baba God am good, i dont hate him at all, i only feel sad for him, at least i know i will not call him again.., toyintomato is back in full force.. no more mushy jargon...bera get ready plenty hot hot gist!...commin soon

am sure by now everyone is wondering what Phd guy did, me sef i tire. anyway long post always lead to tiredication, exhuasticationlitiez, and total boredomation, i will divide the followin post into 2,

1:if you want the hilarious chicago storry..click here chicago part 2
2: for Phd guy storry..dats 4 you gbeboruns..haha, it will be the next post, click here chicago part 1.

i hope i made it easier for my blog pips.

chicago part 2

2007-08-08T21:22:00.000-04:00

The dinner
.. lookin all sexy in my red dress, pumps, and all, we go out to eat, the girl shows us out seats inside, it looks crowdy, so i suggest that we sit outside, thats how the waiter girl uses evil eye to look at me, for disturbin her..gbosa! yeeeparipah!..is this my yarnsh on the floor, ..
toyintomato has fallen on the floor,yakata!, my skills are immpressive, i did not even wait for reaction time, i flew up on my feet in less that 3 secs flat..no way will i let my babe facto meter drop down...hehe, ..PhD guy says its my shoes cus, they are too high, i refuse to agree, i have worn those shoes everywhere, i have not fallen down before, ..i suspect that waiter girl, and she said she is Greek, abi isn't it those Greek people that did original ju-ju(black magic) abi where did venus and domilo..hehe sorry Aristotle, ,,i sha watched the movie Sparta... no shakin, sha am good,all my bones are in their correct position, abi mummy toyintomato prayer and fastin is still workin in full force.

The fountain.
thats how i reached the water tower, and saw one guy in the fountain,his pants was half down, he was shouting that he is a prophet,sent from god, splashing water on anyone that passes ...hmnn the beginin of madness,"stage 1 madness" , i must see this with my 2 kokoro eyes, i run and grab a seat, in true gbeborun fashion, i asked the lady by my side..what wrong with that guy.
she said she thinks its his birthday, that he is just celebrating, that he just got drafted into the army, he is gettin married in 2 hours, whinsh kian storry is all this, ..the woman was sayin a bunch of random stuff that did not make sense. anyway the stage 1 madness guy gets out of the fountain, and starts headin towards me, trust me i put on my sun-shades and comot eyes, he leans over to the lady by my side and they start yarnin opak=random bullshit...

....yeeeeh, see my nonsense life, i am sittin beside another mad woman, hehehe. they invite me to go swimming in the fountain, winsh one is this, i need to run fast , then i see the police commin, pls i hope they dont think i am also with the stage one madness poeple, you know its hard to distuguish this kain madness, ..anywy the mad pple start runnin, way when the notice the police..hallelujah..thank goodness,that was close.., see what gbeborun can lead to..hehehe.

the naija guy.
...so anyway, i obviously was sightseeing alone, which me made me a target, but no shakin, so i was at the navy pier,

when one guy walks up to me with a naija accent he says wants to take a picture with me..hehe, i smile = no way in hell
..so i say "obviously you are Nigerian", he says i see you are not shy, we kinda talked and did the whole i am not givin you my number story, this bobo even noticed that i just dyed my hair.

later that day, i was by the bus stop for the tours to get back to the hotel, when the guy drove up to my side, ..anyway long story, the guy dropped me at my hotel and i gave him my number, bad move i kno..then the drama began.

he said he wants to come over and watch cable in my room..nonsensibilty, -50 for lack of tact, i told him i had a roommate. ..he said he will take me to him place, tofiapah, ehh, this guy wants vacation booty, no way, i hang up the phone, the guy calls again and says we shld go the the park...what is wrong with this horny boy, does he think i am 12yrs old..anyway i told him, i was goin to give the phone to my husband..hehehe...that always works!..i haven't received any call from him yet...

Chicago Part 1

2007-08-08T19:21:00.000-04:00

.... landed in Chicago, dressed up to the teeth, my low cut red dress, green bra peepin thru , green wedge heels, and green purse, i was on point..hehe
... called Phd Guy, to come and pick me , cus we planned he wuld rent a car, so we can drive around the city, he said he was tired, and the airport was like 1 hour away, and there was traffic, and besides he didnt know the area too well cus he kept on gettin lost. ..normal toyin -t style no shakkin, i got into the shuttle and heeded to the hotel.Hilton hear i come..hehe

to be fair on PhD guy, he had, gotten the swippy card thin for me to check in, and also was waitin for me in the lobby, helped me with my luggage, gave me the "just friends hug", strange but i did not think about it

we were both hungry, and decided to go out to grab somethin to eat, he harassed me about havin an Ipod..something about social isolation jargon, then about my bra thingy , me i did not vex..haha, i still looked good.
we talked durin dinner, i noticed some of his snide comments, but i either just ignored him, or said 'whatever".
oya fast forward..Phd Guy said that he goin to be busy, he will not have time to hang out with me, he asked if i needed money and said he wuld call me during lunch, me i said no shakin i wuld be fine dont need his money jare...

so out goes toyin tomato..sightseeing, chattin to pple, and havin a blast, i even met one naught naija guy..(see part 2 for his storry). 6pm i came back to the hotel..all exhausted, told Phd guy guy about my escapades, even the naija guy i met..hehe, he said at least now you met a friend to hang out with, your trip wuld be much more fun.

6:30pm ..PhD guy wants to go to a ballroom dinner jargon..me i said i wasnt goin cuz i am sure it was goin to be borin, phd guy said i shld go out with the naija guy and have fun, that most likely he might not be back till mornin.
as usual, i did not vex, i ironed my grown and sexy out fit, i was goin to go to the jazz club next door, i did not call the naija guy.
.....PhD guy comes back early he sees my outfit all laid out on the bed, he smirks at me..nonsense wetin concern me, then he starts snorin, ..winsh kin nonsense is this one,.. so i wake him and ask him, what his plans are, he says notin, he just wants to sleep,

...haba, abi ,weren se boy yi=abi is madness cashin this boy..hehe, isnt he the one that invited me , now he is sleepin, anyway maybe this is his signal..wink! so i take off my clothes and say i really dont feel like goin out again.
... 5 mins later, the bobo is sleepin again, what is all this jagbajantis, so i wake him up, and i ask, is there a problem, he said he is fine, just exhausted, and wants to sleep, that why am i disturbing him..
..eh!, what did this boy just say, me disturbin!, ori mi o, yeparipah! ..okay(this is where i transform into my alter ego while loosin my temper)..i start shouting and argu in with him, what the fuck, is it not you that called me, invited me here, why are you actin like this, he still ignores me,
... i up my temper level, why are you actin like i am disturbing you, he then replied, yes i was disturbin, that i did not allow him to sleep, and no one wakes him from his sleep, yeparipah..what concobility.

ol boy, first of all, you called me, you pestered me to come here, you insinuated me and you will hang out, now i am disturbin you..see my life. anyway he said that, what do i mean, he only invited me for a vacation , becos he had a free room, he did not say anythin about us hangin out. he is sorry he gave me the wrong impression. by now my temper has passed "be careful", i carry my phone and call the airline..they say $150 bucks to change my fight...no way am i payin $150 bucks to get away fron this hefer=stupid ass hole, the guy isnt worth my $150 instead i will shop with my money..so i hang up the phone.

PhD guy looks at me,he is quite mad at me now, he says for what i just did , he will never forgive me, that if i want to go home, he will give me the money, i told him, i dont need his stupid money. he then goes to lecture me that , whoever i date next, i shld learn how to watch my temper and control my irrational actions, what the heck, i told him to sut the hell up(although this is thru about my temper..hehe)
he continued lecturin me, that he cant believe i just made that call, that his opinion of me has totally deteriorated.

by now i was beyond mad, i started shoutin, that truthfully he shld just say it, why the neck did he invite me here, cuz i really dont get it, why ??????..enuf of the bullshit emotional abuse and words, just tell me why the fuck did you decide to pick up your goddamm phone and call me?

he finally talked,sayin he is workin thru some personal shit. that of recent he found out that he is becommin emotionally detached from girls, that girls just get on his nerves a lot now, and he knew he always was attracted to me, so he decided to invite he, to test himself, and he did not even think i was goin to say yes..

and when i came here, he just wasn't feelin me, and i kinda irritated him, how i talked about Lindsey lo hen, watching nonsense Tv shows instead of CNN, having an ipod, and even when i say "whatever" it gets on his last nerve..ori mi oh=my head oh , save me! he said that since he stared workin on his Phd, he kinda is more into aquirin knowledge than hangin out with normal people, cuz normal people bore and irritate him especially girls.. so i ask ..right now, no jokes, do i irritate you, he said yes, in fact seeing you in this bed is totally pissin me off right now.

yeparipah..this guy has killed me, i got up, started packin my bags, my mother all the way in naija, did not slave night and day to give me a better life, so that one nonsense boy will talk to me like this. i will leave this room , even if its 1 am in the mornin, he comes at me and grab my bag, i did not even slow down, forget the bag jare, let me just wear my shoes, he grabs my shoes, i rush for my flipflops=slippers, he then ran and grabbed my phone and purse with my passport and credit card. he tells me you are not goin anywhere tonight. i can not try to grab the stuff from him,he is way much more stronger than me, i just slide to the floor cryin... he tells me to get back in bed, i say no, ..i arranged the towels as my pillow and blanket and slept

..shiverin and shakin all the way from my teeth to my toes,i adjust my pride and crawl back into the bed at 4am, i really dont want to get sick over this nonsense.

7am in the morning, he lift the covers up and tells me, that he only told me what i wanted to hear, i ignore him ....i did not say a word to him for 2 days , on Wednesday morning i give him the hotel swippy card to check out , and tell him my flight is at 12pm, bye, am out!

(p.s there is so much more to this story, the comments he said, his words, the way he made me feel like i was the problem...but lets just leave it as it is. and this post is way too long..hahaha)

Manda and Omosewa..2 in 1 buffday parry

2007-08-03T01:06:00.001-04:00

everybody in bloggworld is invited, naija style parry, will end when the food finish,no cancel that , will end when every body goes home..hahaha.

Please help me congratulobia,clap both hand..clap! clap! clap! for both manda and omosewa..aka the August girls!, on adding a new year to their ages..happy buffday, welcome to my small parry, have fun..hehe(okay i am doin joint buffday parry=savin costs..haha).
another song for the parry..enjoy..hehe

and this song below is specially posted for omosewa, i am already dancing away...hehe

is it only me this happens to????

2007-07-30T12:21:00.000-04:00

..so i wake up, Friday morning, yeepah", aiye me oh= see my life. oh shit!, i am very late for work,this lateness is even later than my 8:15 am Naija resumption time,

shoo see me see trouble, i rushed into the shower, did my boardin house shower aka Rub and Shine: (see break down below)
1:quick brushing =2 sec,
2:pour water on my face =3 sec,
3:jumping the shower =1 sec.
4: one blast of cold water = 4 sec..finish!

i rushed, put my jewelry in my bag, no time to make up, grab my cereal and bottle of milk, grab my Vaseline, ...abeg no time to my lotion up my body, ever reliable Vaseline will have to do.
pour plenty of perfume and deodorant..i have to still keep up my babe facto meter up, despite the situation..hehehe.

then i ran like baba suwe= a raving lunatic to work.
in fact, toyin-T, well done, i pat my self on the back, i beat my personal best of 15mins, i reached the office in 7:23mins flat..kare, u are the true daughter of your father..

anyway as i reached the office, the blinds were down, maybe the front desk person is home sick.
i enter the office. kilari , kiloshele=what the heck is happenin, all the lights are off, the office is dark.
hmnn, maybe today is a public holiday, but i did not get any email, but again in my rush i did not turn the T.v on.
.. confusicatison caught me, hmnn, where is everyone in this office ??
anyhow so thats how i waka=walked to the V.P's office, her lights were on, so thats how me toyin-T , international gbeborun, started asking, where is everybody, what happenin..i was lookin for gist.....haha
thats how V.p " ..said toyin my dear, its only 6:45am, what are you doin here????

extreme shock, yeepah, see my life, olodocious olodo, in fact dumb mu-mu,

what the heck am i doin here at 6am,and not 8am my official resumption time.
you see my life, and i am supposed to be an intelligent person..hehehehehehe

(p.s :dyed my hair back to black, will add the theme music later..am at work so am rushin..hahah)

i am just a Razz girl

2007-07-22T17:56:00.000-04:00

..okay, so this saturday, i am jejely plannin to go shoppin, as i reached the bus stop, minding my own business, listening to my ipod and tryin not to sing out too loud.(typical me)
as i sat in the bus, i just let out a fantastic yoruba scream.....ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
..the shuttle driver slowed down and looked at me, (am sure he is thinkin, these Africans, what is it now").
can you believe it what are the odds, the guy right beside me is holding the new harry potter book"original" released 12am this very morning.
....dats how razz toyintomato,asked the typical dumb question... "xcuse me is that the new harry potter book"
the bobo looked at me strangely, i told him, do you mind if i take a look.
am sure the guy , wanted to do anythin to shut me up.
..this was 8am in the mornin, i did not think i would see the book until 4pm to say the least..
so toyintomato was extremely excited to
1: touch the new harry potter book
2: open the first 4 pages
3: look at the back of the book

unfortunately the fear of shamin my self in public, refused me to ask the boy if i should read a couple of the pages..hahahah., anyway am happy.
....see everywhere in the mall, all these little kids are reading the harry potter book, oblivious to anythin around them...haba, just too young for addiction to start.. abeg wetin concern me., so i just removed my face.

had a lenthy phone call with my one and only sister, heard she had chicken pox, and fear is catchin her, that it would destroy her face...anyway, i told her it would not be funny, if i catch the stupid thing from across the phone, you kno how these Americans dont joke with contagious diseases..
abeg let me stop, you know they monitor online blogs and flag sensitive words, before they send immigration and health services to my house..
...(...oya American people reading this blog. i state i do not have chicken pox, true ..lol)

oya the mall gist, i went to the mall to look for a red purse/bag to match my red shoes. so i did balogun/lagos island shoppin style, i took one leg of the shoe to the mall, i did not send jare, you shld have seen me, ..i was on a mission, if i see a purse, i will just pull out my shoe and place it beside the bag, abeg it my money oh.
one oyinbo woman , used eye to look at me,
cuz i scattered around 6 different shades of red purses on the floor, trying to match my shoe.but you trust me that didnt even faze me...me i dont have shame when it comes to shoppin..lol

anyway i successfully got a green and pink purse, but no red bag, i tire, you know its only in the summer that these oyinbo's have color, by the fall all i will be seein is boring Grey , brown and ever reliable black bags.

..(..1 hour later, after my regular Sunday Sunday naija phone call. me and my stupid big mouth, now i have to go back to the mall, and buy the bags for both my mum and my sister, i hope the sale is still on then.

..another 3 hours later,oya, this is toyintomato vexin big time, i give up, this my naija jet black hair, has failed me again, this is the 2nd time, i am tryin to dye it dark red , and it comes out brown...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy me!..Baba God all i want is red hair?
..i have decided, i will do night vigil and prayer and fasting, by next week toyintomato's hair must turn red, before the chicago trip on August 5th..."i call this operation red hair by 05."..hahah

(hey girls pls i need suggestions on what product i should use to dye my hair red, since we all have naija hair)

my naughty grandmum

2007-07-20T19:50:00.000-04:00

... reading the ever hilarious bimby's latest post, summer of 89, reminded me so much of my grandmum. i decided to write this....

one sunny day, my mummy toyintomato, told Alhaja Surulere, no more speakin of yoruba to this child, i dont want her to have a yoruba accent...(p.s i think my mum just read one of those nonsense child development books, my mother is like this, 2 much education jargon)

..the problem: Alhaja Surulere aka my grand mum does not understand a word of English

being that toyintomato and Alhaja Surulere were pretty close, we reached a compromise, she would speak her correct Abeokuta Yoruba with me, i would reply in my perfect private school queens English..kappish

...the problem: most people usually assumed i didn't understand a word of Yoruba.....hahaha

..and so the drama began.
one perfect Sunday evening, Alhaja Surulere's association of jobless women whose kids pay for everythin, were discussin the next official color of their gele/head tie, the debate was over gold and green, or pink and silver gele.the argument was tough, some people did not have any lace to match either color (hint, thats my grand mum, and so she was tryin to find a way to disrupt the meetin)

..hummin away to nothin particular, walks in toyintomato with a whole mug of dry milo and powder milk, chewing away with no care in the world.

ehh ,what is this?.., the Association women, were in utter shock!, what is your grandchild eatin, ehh, she is goin to spoil her teeth.

my grand mum smiled, and said, maybe you women, should just tell the child,thats how toyintomato was forced to join the meetin grudgingly and reluctantly abandoning my wonderful cup of dry milo and milk, then my grandmum said, by the way she does not understand yoruba..

the 3 oldest ladies burst out screammin, ehh kin, ko gbo, ..she dosent understand what, how???, why, how did you let this happen to your first granddaughter.. ..what a shame!, so its only englis she speaks, how will anyone know she is from the south?

My Grandmum replies: her mother refuses to teach her.

total confusion catched the women, how are they goin to relate to this child......so thats how translation woman, volunteered, she told the other ladies that she had 4th grade/primary 2 education so she was the most knowledgeable in the speaking of English language.
....so she the tried..

association women: aburo=child, you know powder mik,is fery bad 4 your mouth(with heavy yoruba accent)
toyintomato: noo way, this milk is perfect, gives me calcium, sugar for energy, and even contains all the recommended vitamins for healthy bones( said in perfect queens English with fone)

association women: so fun=tell this shild she will have jedy-jedy
the woman translating :toyintomato, shey, u know dat sickness, wish cosin belly pain sickness eferywhere, all and arounds te body

i am holdin my toungue , tryin really hard not to laugh, meanwhile my grand mum is givin me the "if you talk look"...instead i ask..." what type of pain is this?"
translatin woman: ehmn, the sickness, that iya sikira's shild haf last week.
me: that was just constipation.
association women: hmnn ko ma gbo= she is not understandin...., kilamashe=what are we goin to do

....the translatin woman is trying her best, thinkin very hard , analyzing the subject-verb agreement on the words she is goin to use to explain this illness to me, finally she smiles....

translatin woman: oya toyintomato, does you kno, about Agbo-jedis?..(thats the bitter stuff made with alcohol and different plant roots/extracts and herbs)
me : what is this jedis?.....(i added my queens English fone, for emphasis......lol)
translation woman: jedis is sickness, cauzin you to run fast to shalanga, ehm toilet
me: no way , i use laxatives every sunday, my system is perfect .........( referring to the exact same agbo jedy we are talkin about..hahaha)

..by this time, the lady translatin was already frustrated, she asks my grandmother...klass wo lowa= what class is this girl in skool,this her englis, is not the same , i kno.
....with sweat pourin from her forehead, concentrated determination, and mastering all her primary 2 english education words she sighs with resignation and says....

...." omo yi=this child, ...jedis is goin to cash you, vefy plenty. you will sare ehmn run to toilet, and shit will will be poring..purrrrrr, gburrrr, skphurrrr, raptartapgpatttt, without control from your yansh...

...clap! clap! clap!, the other women started congratulating the lady translating on her English skills, the woman translating then ended with this thank you speech. ....thanks you eferyone, that shild wans to senior my englis ,lai, lai, nefer , me iya modinot, wife number tree, sowed thats i ams still educasion, evens if, it is primarys 3 , longs time ago.

....my naughty grand mum, was giggling all this while, knowing fully well, i could understand every single word of yourba , they were all speakin., but she was happy that she had distracted the meetin from the color of gele topic..lol

(p.s : i think jedy-jedy = pile/dysentry, am not really sure,
Abgo -jedy= herbal combination of alcohol and plant roots, barks leaves /extracts and herbs used for preventive /cure for infant dysentry, ususally very bitter )

bad energy people

2007-07-13T19:05:00.000-04:00

....hmnn, i have edited this post a total of 5 times.
my mojo is down,some bad energy people at work are mentally drainin me.
don't worry , i have reported them to Baba God, He will handle all of them 4 sure, tryin to mess with toyin tomato, aka omo labi eyin lari.

maybe if i write somethin about the past, i will feel better...
okay i call this totally hilarious and ridiculous past datin events, i hope it comes out right, i was actually thinkin of doin a series on it, but am not sure....

1: i met this bobo in church..back home,he seemed cool, he was tall, everythin seemed perfect, thats how i sha agreed to grace him with the company of toyintomato for a date..lol.
it was a saturday date, and it was kinda late, so i never looked at the bobo's face, well, as i sat down, and looked up, ori mi, yeepah, what have i gotten myself into..this boy's lips was pouring,..no let me correct myself..drippin with lip gloss, ..not chapstick oh , but the glossy lipstick that girls use.
as i was tryin hard not to stare, thats how the bobo , brings out the pink shimmery lip gloss, pulled out the brush and started applyin it to his mouth.i whisper a silent prayer..pls God,just this once, dont make me laugh, plz plz,..
anyway, the boo started talkin about how, he has really dry lips, and his sister gave him this chap stick(chap kini, this is gloss get it right) ..this his sister must not like him at all.
....anyway our food arrived, i was happy. thats how the bobo, said do you mind , can we say a little prayer, as a church girl, i said of course.
the prayer started, we prayed for the children in Somali, we prayed for our country Nigeria and its leaders, we had mini praise and worship, we even did testimony, after like 40 mins, the bobo now asked me, if i wanted to add anythin to the prayer, ..ehh after all that, i just smiled and said i was good. wetin i wan add again, when angel gabrel is already standing with us...lol
(lesson learnt ..be very careful of prayer warriors in church)

2:: this was a lunch date, one of those places at V.I. the guy kept saying my name includin my last name when he was talkin. i really like my name, so i did not vex. so he continued talkin that he, had met my mum at a meetin before, and he just kept on staring at my mum and dreammin.
which type of talk is this... thats how i asked with style, that do you think this is appropriate, considering that you are talkin about my mum, the bobo refused to stop, saying how wonderful my mum looked for her age..blah, blah balh..thats how, i told him this is the last time, i would go out with him. the bobo kept quiet.
..gboa!screechhhhhhhhhhhh.. we hit the curb, he started drivin on the side of the road(the one near the beach), he kept on sayin he was goin to drive into the ocean..eya egami, which kin were(=crazyman) be this, you shld have seen me, all my shakara stopped, kappish!. i started serious beggin, even my fone left my mouth, i added Yoruba.."olowo ori mi", my dear , pls don't do this , i don't want you to hurt yourself, i promise i will call you..blah blah..
.he finally agreed to take me home. you shld have seen me pira/run like a ravin lunatic from his car,when i got home, i locked my gate , and went straight to Mummy toyintomato,and gave her his phone number, let her handle this were alasho/undercover crazyman.
(lesson learnt : crazy people can also dress nice)

this is not working, am still feelin drained, maybe if i go to the club, i will fell better.
sorry pips, am out, i promise to reply all your comments from the last post later ...

Phd guy, Chicago trip, and my stubborn head!..lol

2007-07-10T18:11:00.000-04:00

....so this was our phone conversation 4 the trip

PhD Guy: so do you have good news for me
me: hmmnnn am not sure, tell me all the details of this trip again
PhD guy: girl! why are u tryin to make a big deal out of this, just come its a free trip, u will be stayin at the Hilton Palmer house, why are you over thinkin the situation
me: are you tryin to harass me
PhD guy: no not really, i dont understand why girls cant ever make up their minds. do you want to go or not, why are u acting like a baby
me: are u callin me a baby???
PhD guy : not really, you are a mature young lady, doin her masters and will eventually run a company and you cant even make a simple decision in less than 5 mins, you do the math.
me: hehehe... are you sayin i cant make up my own mind???
PhD guy: so i take it you're not commin then..
me: i just opened up the website, and confirmed the reservation.kappish(see how my stupid stubborn head always displays itself..lol)
PhD guy: it took you long enough...

.....hisssss, see my life, this boy just finished harrasin, and bullyin me, and i fell right into it, my playette skills are slackin big time.anyway ,i guess am goin to chicago, August 5th-8th.

(p.s funny thing , i am no more that excited about the trip ,instead i am lookin forward to the trip not the guy, so i am prayin really really hard that my red ribbon shld surface durin this trip, this typewriter doesn't want to type with Phd guy..hahaha)

"to my fellow blogers"
..thx for all the suggestions, as you can all see, my stubborn head ruled again, i did not even take 1 minute to think about all your wonderful suggestions..lol. now you can all see why my mother is always prain hard for me, i am too damn stubborn.

(red ribbon=menstruation.sorry guys i kno its 2 much information.lol)

confused

2007-07-07T22:10:00.000-04:00

okay...i promise this shld be short

i got a surprise call from my ex-something like a boyfriend aka undergee,
i really don't want to call him my boyfriend, lets just say we were "goodfriends"..wink!
...this boy invited me for an all expense paid trip to Chicago ,in august, hotel room the whole works, he is involved in an accounting conference happening there.
anyway this guy and i were in the same masters program, he started a few months ahead of me, he was cool, his body was tight, kinda confident and a little arrogant(i like my men this way, don't worry me too am stubborn, i always like a good fight...hahah)
so he and i had a great rapport, i could always match his Witt any time,

one day, i went to his apartment to work on a class project,...hmnnnn then we made "sweet music" together ..(stole this line from a blogger), i saw the light!, it was very bright...lmao
the music was great, don't you just love guys that their bodies are fit, they can go on forever, just like a horse...lol , one round is so borrin and anti climatic....
fyi :this good friendship with music ,kinda lasted for a whole year..hahahah..music is good for the soul...lol
we were both mature about this which was so cool, i even organized him for a couple of my friends..there is always love in sharing a great! long! firm! very hard! ."fill in the gaps"..wink!

..so anyway this boy graduates , he is goin to do his Phd in another state, and we mutually agreed , that there will be no strings. he wants to marry a girl that will be submissive, i am not that, he wants someone from his country, somewhere in east Africa, i am from west Africa, we both love to flirt..i honestly consider myself a "playet"..haha

.....this boy, now calls me ,sayin "i was the best" what the heck does that mean
now he wants to spend the weekend with me, and he tells me he has been playing in local tennis championships, so he is fit and and all ready for me....yepa. this boy wants to fire my va-jayjay...heheheh, egbami o= save me
but again, the "analyst "in me is questionin this, "what is the catch?
he can easily get loads of girls, he flirts a whole lot, he is good lookin, ..so what is the catch?
anyway he says i have to confirm the reservation by july14th,if i am goin,
i am so confused.....

(p.s fyi=for your information)

i am speechless

2007-07-04T23:26:00.000-04:00

..this is what i discovered from youtube, his name is biodun, and girls take note..his dancing is hot

my whole week in short sentences..

2007-06-29T17:31:00.000-04:00

Monday morning got to my office at 7:45am...the one and only time,yeeppeh!..the rest of the week was downhill , in short naija time was in charge , i swiped my card 8:07am.God save me from waking up late....

Tuesday, Fell down 2 1/2 times, tuesday 12pm, and also 4:30pm: my boss brought an exercise ball, to work cos her ass was hurtin..(she is pregnant). anyway me and my "i 2 kno, started doin exercises on the ball and showin everyone in the office different forms of exercise,and thats how the stupid ball started rolling all over the place, i couldn't get my balance, and i was doing a certain move..(see the picture at the side bar) and before my very very eyes, i was seeing my self rollin...eh,without any time to think and i switched to yoruba straight ....yepa idi mi o!, am going down, thats how i fell yakata all over the floor...and tippin over everything in my path..this included, tables, chairs..everything.
bad enuf, i fell, then the Hr director came to see me, and was asking what happened, so stupid me i got back on the ball to show her how i fell down..( ..olodo) and of course..i fell down again, hit my desk, and some cabinets...at least i did not scream anythin out in yoruba.....lol local girl.

Wednesday, Danced on top of the table,..so i have a ridiculous habit of jumping on tables and dancing if i hear i song i like,..hmnnn i wonder, maybe i have a hidden ambition to have a career related to tabletop dancin..wink! lol. anyway my homie knows i like the "roll it girl" song ..(currently playing on my blogg), so when i was at his place, he played the song , i jumped on the table...shaking my useless flat, ass as much as it could possible shake(yeah rite, shakin what my mama gave me..lol), so this stupid boy did not tell me the table was broken.(they like playin pranks on me)...and again i fell yakata, at least he caught me before i reached the ground..haha

Thursday, Broke my big toe nail..i really should stop hangin out with guys, anyway we bought a soccer ball, and as usual, i was the only girl that wanted to play soccer with the guys..(p.s the girls were all doin shakara) i did not bring my sneakers, so i decided to go au-naturel aka no shoes, bad move i kno, but i wanted to play so badly and i refuse to play with my very cute red shoes..haha,

anyway sha this boy refused to leave the ball and me am the defender, anyway he kicked me so hard , that he broke my toenail, i did not even scream, true!, but you trust me to 2 , i did not gree.. my team won the game...i retaliated using my skills.lol, anytime a guy was comming towards me, i just acted like i was goin to pull up my tank top..haha, it distracted them..lol..girl power!

Friday, very happy with my mum.. finally she called me at 7:30am, i was really getting tired of the 4 am phone calls, and i warned her that i would just become, like the typical naija, that dosent pick up phone calls, if she calls me that early again, haba, i just slept at 12midnight and 4 hours later, i am supposed to have a meaningfull conversation..no way!
anyway the phone call was long..as usual, she passed the phone to everyone in the house to talk to me, even if i did not remember them, she asked about any husband prospects..( my answer , none..!lol), she reported my younger sister to me, like i can do anything from here, she reported her driver to me , cos he took too much takeaway food at an owamabe party they went to, ..she continued talkin..at this point i tuned her off, i love my mum, but damn! she talks!....after like 15 mins of tuning her off, then she prayed for me,....yeah! that i like,if God should score prayers, my mum's prayers is like an A++, it practically scares the devil, from even thinking about harming me.true!

Friday lunchtime, shot just 1 guy down, shooting is the term i use for turning guys down.The total rating points for a date 100 ....so this guy was okay, he was taller than me, add 2o points to his score, he was good lookin..not exceptionally fine that i wanted to commit suicide!, add another 10points to his score, he was religious 30 more points to his score,he talked about his mum..add a bonus 10 points, he dressing was sharp and on point ..a correct 20 points no deduction..lol, he said i looked like i was 18yrs old....40 bonus points..haha he made my 26yr old head swell.. then the story turned sour, he said he is "looking to go back to skool"..yepa no education, -40 from his points, he just moved back from Atlanta, he is lookin for a job..eh , dat automatically is -80 from the scores, and he is 24 rys old..dammit , that a -20 from the score... this is not looking good.

...and so it was with deep regret, that i had to shoot the boy down, when he asked for my number, i gently, without any form of shakara told him, that it wont be a good idea, cos i kno i wont pick up his calls,..he was so cool about it,he said he understands, and he hopes the next guy i date will be charmin and respects me...damn, he is mature, add 150 bonus points back to his points, but i have already turned him down...damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! stupid girl,thats why you don't have a boyfriend yet....hahaha

Spent 2 hours on the phone: i got a call all the way from naija, from a very special person, and i so badly want to talk about it, but i know i will get in trouble so , i am not goin to blogg about this..sorry guys

Monday Excise: no form of exercise what so ever, i am very happy and gave my self a treat, i fit into my size 4 jeans.....yeah men, toyintomato's shape is on point,figure 8 here i come..move over tyra and naomi...haha

and thats the summary of my week...this post really is too long, i will try to shorten it next time
(p.s thx for all the comments, and everyone for stoppin by, even the anonymouses...i can see you all..lol)..hmnn did i get the spellin of anonymous...lol

The very complex relationship of Vinegar, Alum and wink!.. wink!

2007-06-25T17:34:00.000-04:00

..okay , obviously i was very busy thru out this week end, i was reading this book" From the Sandbox to the Corner office" by Eve Tahmincioglu...it is really good, not the usual boring leadership books, it's about life lessons learnt by leaders, the job they would really love do, and it is written so well, no big words and the book is pretty small for a motivational book , for e.g .."someone else's 6 steps to success, might not necessarily be work for you"
...so i couldn't put the book down to type on my blog.

so on saturday, at this picninc at the park, one of the aunty's of the host, this lady is 50yrs old, starts talkin about gettin on a pole, and she was doin the gyration moves..(i wasnt surprised,.. nothin shocks me nowadays)
thats how she continued to educate me how, if "things"..wink!..wink! start gettin loose downstairs , i should just wash down there with vinegar...chineke! , Ori mi oh! .what did this woman just say....while i was tryin not to act shocked, my brain was tryin hard to do the physics, chemistry, calculus, and even advanced mathematics of how vinegar could shrink the "you know what"..and again how did it slack, or better still do guys actually notice this..(p.s i wold appreciate guys comments here)

anyway as i was busy pondering the dynamics and chemical reaction of vinegar and our va-ja-jay..i remembered way back in naija ,how one of my family friends, broke up with his girlfriend for having "alum crystal in her handbag" he kept on saying "i cant believe it" she is cheating on me, the babe cried her eyes out that she loves him, and has never cheated in her life, she even was swearing with her bible...saying she wanted to give the bobo the best possible satisfaction he could possibly have.Poor girl, the guy did not agree to take her back, anyhow me and my busybody mouth , i kept on asking the girl how exactly do you use it, becos there really isnt a prescribed way to use it , its not like she bough it from the pharmacy with instructions on the packet. anyway the girl never answered me.

...thats was how ,my brain was wheeling with this vinegar story, but again i pondered , what is the politically correct way to ask for the application of this" wonderful drug" .don't worry the woman did not wait for me to ask, she continued her story on how you should run a bath, and put the vinegar in the water and just soak up in the bath...(i was impressed!)
...anyway, i did not get to hear the end of the story, one guy pulled me away give me his collection of dating lyrics
..so dats how i missed out, but anyway which one is my own, original busybody, why do i need to know the application details of vinegar and alum crystal, am sure my va-ja-jay is on point.

(p.s i have put the link for the meaning of alum, it is usually used to clean the slimy stuff of snails back home in naija , or in boarding skools, it is used to clean a bucket of water.....that is officially the only use of alum i know..haha)

this is 4 the girls..enjoy!.hmnnnnn

2007-06-21T20:31:00.000-04:00

(am exhausted from work and could not type, so i took the easy way out and uploaded pics..sorry guys.)

girls, take you pick......
bachelor # 1: very dark chocolate stud!

bachelor # 2: go green! never mind the bush

bachelor # 3: still more bush hahaha

bachelor #4, soldier go , soldier come...lol

bachelor #5: shake dat booty.....!

bachelor #6, this is 4 the island in all of us...shaba!..lol

bachelor #7: and we all kno who this is....

p.s: i bera stop here, before my blog burns up, too much heat..haha

why i miss home

2007-06-19T23:07:00.000-04:00

...one of my homie's asked me why exactly i miss home so bad, cos i am always singin that Dec 2008 i am goin to be in Lagos, so i decided to write it out..

1) i miss waking up to my neighbors fighting in the morning..i live in agege, the next house is a face me i face you..there is always drama happening...lol
2) i miss gettin into the traffic jam on third mainland ,when i was working on the island
3) i miss all my escape attempts from armed robbers on the same bridge , when coming back home
4) i miss all the free lunch from my numerous toasters...poor guys , i only enjoyed the food
5) i miss how by 7pm nepa takes light, so i have to run and turn on our ever reliable generator.
6) i miss how i always looked forward to Tuesday prayer meeting at my church "fountain to life ilupeju..pastor bims i miss you gaan..http://www.tfolc.org/gsm/folchap.html
7) i miss how i missed landmark events in most of my family's life, i was the "fav aunty" b4 i came to this place.
8) i miss how on Friday i start gettin ready for a weddin ..yes i was a weddin owambe chic
9) i miss how i never get to eat food at the weddings and i always stop at tastee to eat cos am starving
10) i miss all the effort i take to pick the gift am goin to ha/give away at the weddin....
11) i miss how when i go shoppin at idumota..i bera hold my purse."well well"..hahaha
12) i miss dancing at owambe parties..and of course..the "sprayin", you shld see me komole, it is fantabulos, there is no comparison, i am the best komole dancer in my family.
13) i miss gettin up early to go to church, and meeting all the dramatic church people, at fountain
14) i miss ridin on an okada, fallin down on okada, being robbed from an okada...in short all okada related events!
15) i miss danfo drivers abusing and callin me "ashewo ta lo ra moto fun eh " becos i drive crazy..heck i grew up in agege, i gots to learn their driving skills.
16) i miss hanging out with my girls and gisting about old men and their old style lyrics to catch a girl...you cant imagine what i have heard..."orekelewa mo ma fi owo ba eje/you this girl i will use my money to finish you..lmao forgive my translation
17) i miss how we have so many public holidays back home and we actually do not have to go to work..e.g democarcy day, independence day, lagos island day,,whoever is in powers' birthday
18) i miss all the eatin out joints on Bankolemo, Lagos island, V.I, Anthony, GRA, secretariat, Ogba, ..i am tryin not to mention the names, cos most likely you would have met me there..lol
19) i miss goin to the cyber cafe, and seein all those sketchy characters doin you kno what?????.....
20) i miss how in Lagos life , you have to struggle for everything that comes to you.

21) best of all i miss my mummy, the one and only Mrs A, aka Mrs lecturer aka iya tsunami, aka Engr Mrs, or popularly known as Madamu..with heavy Yoruba accent..lol
22) i miss my one and only kid sister, aka ** mama, aka kerosene cos she never sleeps and is constantly talkin every single minute, who also can beat me up with little effort, she is bigger than me, and i keep testin her..lmao .. thats another story entirely.
23) i miss my Grand mum aka Alhaja Eko, her constant prayers, her constant scheming and matchmaking me up with her friends kids, and how she lies to her friends that i don't understand Yoruba, so that she can laugh at their attempt to speak English and fhone with me..hahha..hahahahaha..very naughty old woman!
24) I miss my uncle "the Prof" , who threatened to beat me "a big babe then" in front of moremi hall , Ife, cos i did not report my pocket money expenses..haha
25) my other uncle for his very very deep pocket and his hugely settling capabilites, when i was as usual "always broke"..hahaha.the 500 naira notes was always ready and cripsy
26) all my aunts and their numerous datin advice , from their back in the days uni life times..lol..heck aunty those things cant work now, this is 2008, no guy is gonna admire me for my ability to iron shirts..now!
..oky this is gettin too long , so am gonna continue another day i feel in the mood

p.s
over here i wont say am lonely, cos dat aint true,i have so many friends and family, but its not the same, am 26 today, i am used to the Lagos way of life,maybe if i was younger, i could get used to this , but you cant teach an old goat new tricks, this goat wants to go home...i dont feel at peace here.
and that is why, come Dec 2008 , i am packing my bags and goin to sit at the airport, Muritalah Mohammed Airport , you bera get ready toyintomato is coming home!!!.

me and my stupid rule sef

2007-06-18T20:20:00.000-04:00

..oky this is the gist, as i got out for lunch today, i saw my aka under gee aka booty call , popularly known as Dr Deep stroke, or in short Dr Deep , in the parkin lot.
he drove his car up me and shouted ..surprise!

see me see trouble, shey dis guy doesn't know am on lock down aka no sex (including dating)until November 11th, am doing the thing that boxers do, how they abstain from sex and other worldly pleasures before a match.
for me there is no match ,Nov 11th is my final exit and comprehensive exam and thesis defense of my very expensive masters in finance education.

oky back to the gist, i will not lie , i am hugely attracted to Dr deep, and i am wondering to my self , how this chic is goin to survive,anyway we arrange to hang out later on tonight(it is just hanging out , not a date)

anyway 5pm reach, i rush home, took a shower, changed my bedsheets, cleaned my room, put on my vanilla candles, did my laundry(..the dirty clothes were taking over my room)
and am still telling myself , i am on lock down, oh God pls save me...i am strong , i will resist the temptation
anyway now Dr Deep's, homie called and invited me over for dinner, i really want to go cos its free good food, and besides my roomate and her romeo her still doin romancing the stone, so i really need to leave this house...
hmmm i will continue this post later, i am goin for the dinner...or again maybe if i continue my cyber blogg stalkin time will pass and it will be 10pm..

..okay its 11:30pm and i am in my room alone, i made it, yes we flirted thru out the dinner party, at least i held it together, not actin like a crazed up chic.but i ran home as soon as i could....body no be wood jare

i tire for my horny roomate

2007-06-17T16:47:00.000-04:00

okay am sure everyone knows about how paper thin these American walls are(dey dont use concrete to build their walls here)
...lmao, here it goes, i know am going to get in trouble, but i really don't care.

so am sleeping je-jelly in my room, then i hear the arguments, i actually thot i was dreamin cos, my brain has been on overdrive lately.
i opened my eyes, and my clock says 4:48am, hmmmm this is gonna be interestin, in my area clubs close at 4am, so am pretty sure the homie was comin from a club, and did not get any ass, so he decided to come and see my roommate.

then the argument started ,..blah, blah, blah why are you comin now, are u drunk, and trust the naija homie(okay i confess, the guy is naija and my roommate is Jamaican, and yes, i did the arrangie unfortunately).

back to the story, he is arguing that he is not drunk, and he "misses her" thats why he came over, and he did not feel like driving to his place. see me see trouble.. i almost burst out laughing...missin kini
... the naija boy's lyrics are on point, he did the i was missin u so much line, then he added the guilt trip on my poor roommate she never had a chance., he kept saying she never wants to hang out, and when he makes time for her(....which is now 5am in the mornin) she acts like she dosent like him, and wants to break up.(not that they are officially dating cos, he has another naija girlfriend i know about)

..by now my original gbeborun skills inherited from my darling egba/abeokuta mother were in full effect, i was definitely up,..... is this girl goin to fall that weak ass line....

ops too late,...i heard .."oh!" yes!..oh yes! yes yes..ah ahhhhh! "aaaaAAAAAhhhh!"..yes!",... by now i wanted to fall asleep so bad, but their sound effects was so loud, the guy was the funniest. smacking her ass like he was pounding yam(my roomate's ass is huge, she seniors omotola by a whole lot)....you should have heard him, slappin the ass,...smack!..Smack! ..Smack!..Smack! .
ori mi o, see my roommate's life, her under 21 boyfriend is slappin her 29yrs old ass,
what nonsense, whalahi, this boy, is younger than my sister, but again who am i 2 judge,

..anyway i finally fell asleep, ...hallelujah
then this morning, my roommate and i had this conversation

roommate: hi tsunami, you looked so relaxed, did u sleep well
tsunami: yes, for the first time , i just knocked out
roommate: hmmn , did u hear anythin last night
tsunamii: acting confused...like what, did our neighbors dog start barking again
roommate: nothing, i just thot you heard something
tsunami...no not really, was i supposed to hear something,...(me laughing to my self,hahah now she is embarrassed, girl please, there is no shame in gettin your groove on).

moral of the story...pls God dont let me reach the age of 29yrs old and my younger cousins age mate will be smacking my ass , just becos am horny..
p.s not that my ass is big anyway.

decided to do the 7things

2007-06-17T01:15:00.000-04:00

......i have had a lot of depressin things happening to me right , and i do not want to bore everyone, don't worry Baba God is handling it, the devil is a liar.

so i decided to join in on this meme thing , on the 7 things i do

1: i love to take long walks, i can do this forever, just walking, and walking and walkin. thats my own version of crack, it clears my head so much...

2:i put my hands in my hair a lot, so by the end of the day hair always looks so crazy and messed up ,true ... lol, i really dont care. its kinda relaxing and massaging for me

3: i love to cook, but i always tell guys i cant cook to save my life, this is a result of past experience,one of my ex boyfriends practically turned me into his personal chef, and even lists my cooking as my qualification as his girl, so i decided never again to cook for a guy,now i find it cute when guys cook for me...hmnnn now thats sexy

4: i dont date guys that am taller than, which kinda narrows the dating pool for me, eh stupid rule ..right

5: i have have huge crushes on Asian men, their hair is soooooo adorable.but for naija guys i love the "bald look" ..yummy chocolate muffin stud!

6: i am smarter than i often let on. this was instilled in my early years by my mum saying " tsumani...tone it down, you are not supposed to let a man know you are intelligent" before i used to get mad at this, but now i have embrace it, cos pple will underestimate you, and you can strategize..get it

7: am really not a huge clubbin fan, i would rather prefer, cuddling up at home and watch a good movie. kappish...guys take note all that dinnin out , movie theater, club hoppin is really 2 much,

am also soccer junkie..haha, officially am a Man U fan, sorry all you arsenal pips...boooo hoo , Man U 4 LIFE, and we are risin again......hahahaha
(p.s i look so cute in my jersey)

oky i cheated i decided to change it to 10 things..haha

8: i actually got admitted for Bsc in Fine Arts, but went for a career in finance instead..haha my mum was not having the "crowned princess aka first born " of the family go down that lane..haha, this girl got to have some earning potential.

9:i am addicted to cyber stalking naija bloggsites....am sure am not the only one , doin this ..lol

10: i really want to go back home, i miss Lagos 4 sure.

...late again to work

2007-06-12T20:02:00.000-04:00

me am tired , this is the 3rd time i am wakin up at 7:35am , i have decided to conduct a studious and lengthy research about this, and as usual i visit the glorious and knowledgeable www.oprah .com for any information on sleep deprivation
1: i read that i should have a hot shower before i sleep to lower my body temperature..p.s will surely try this tonight.
meanwhile i am thinking, maybe it is this stupid satin sheets that is on my bed causing this wahala of sleep deprivation. don't ask why i bought the stupid sheets anyway its a long story,the person that fixes my hair said i should be sleepin with a satin pillow, all to save this my hair,so i went shoppin and the rest is history , i bought satin sheets , pillows and even a nitegown to match...you never know when mr right might pop along..haha am kiddin myself

anyway i went all natural to work today, no time to straighten my hair. this my office pips they never seem to amaze me, anyway as usual all the white people said my hair looks fantastic..i should leave it like that...no way tofiapa,WRONG! ,bring my nappy head to work and look unprofessional, dont you kno that straighten hair is a viewed as a reflection of your sophistication.

anyway finally flirted with the mail guy, he was voted unanimously as the cutest guy ever, by all the single and cute girls in the office, and as usual i volunteered aka was voted to tell the boy, me and my big mouth, at least he said all of us were cute too including me .haha blushing with my naija blackness...ori mi o, my head is swelling big time

still checkin my yahoo email, still no email of job offer, i really want this job, and i was so sure i got the job, haba the interview guy and i did the golf lingo, and he even said he will get in touch with me 2nd week in june, still no email, abi the guy did a fast one on me.i want this sooooo bad, oya i am assignin Baba God on this mission of removing all the kontoknoto disturbing this new job.
...dont worry i will send a polite email,to confirm if i am still in the runnin for the job, abi they have decided to drop me like a hot potato, i tire oh

anyway have to go for a workshop organized by my skool for international students..oh God plz help me to keep my big mouth shut and not raise any questions that will make people uncomfortable ..the are some of my examples
1: why has the admission ratio of African students dropped rapidly , ratio of 2 africans for every class
2: what measures are in place to assist Africans who are being exploited by employers.e.g benefits ,social security taxes..and so on

..on another note...the guys in the office took a picture and put it on the wall, i know for a fact that everyone was waiting for me to comment,fellow bloggers i was strong, i kept my mouth shut , all i said was frank's head was "sweaty" kappish. i am growing wiser with my words with each day
but truthfully the picture was hilarious , all the guys posing like they were correct people and the had the guts to put it on the wall.
i trustfully felt shamed for them ...why
one of the guys rolled up his sleeves to show his tattoo, so 90's, olodo
the second guy went to stand beside his tall friends, showing of his acute shortness, orombo
another guy just looked comical
my oga , is another case, at least he wore sunglasses.
then the other guy had sweat dripping down his shaved head(not that am complaining , i have a thing for baldies)but this guy's sweat was drippin..drip! drip! drip!..lol
p.s
am not being bitchy, just truthfull, i am a strong supporter of the value of a honest opinion no bullshit, as long as its not vindictive am cool.
and that was my day in a nutshell.

..blogville idols...go and vote

2007-06-12T19:21:00.000-04:00

..everyone needs to visit that page and vote
just clink on this link //blogvillepopidols.blogspot.com/
i will post all my comments later, i gotta run, i haven't finished listenin to all the contestants

but why,....4 hours in church!

2007-06-11T22:21:00.000-04:00

...this lockdown thing on no dating untill november is really gettin to me. am tryong not to be 2 explicit here, but all i can say is that, i had a dream and i raped a guy, utterly ridiculous, i have to find something to fill my mind...an empty mind is the devils workshop
..went to my roomate's church, it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, goodness gracious from 11am -4pm, kilode.
me am used to my regular white baptist church, service 10 am, 10:30 announcements/testimony, 11-11:45 sermon, 11:45-12pm prayer
12pm we all go home kapish
but noooooooooo, this black church tire me, 11 am bible study, 11:30, 12pm, 12:30 1pm still testimony and announcements, , by now my hunger is becoming life life am thinking when exactly is this sermon goin to start.
finally 1:30 the sermon starts, you should have seen me, am lookin at all the doors for a quick way of escape, i would have gone , but i remembered the church is right inside downtown, translation plenty sketchy people walkin on the streets. no way toyin tomato is gonna go down in a drive by shootin, so i stay in the church am maintain my hunger
2:30pm now sleep is callin, this is the sleep that i know for sure i will not wake up, even if the pastor shouts "amen"so i finally decide to write my grocery list, i finished that in 2 mins.
this pastor has still not finished, yepa!
finally the service is over and i hear that there is food downstairs , perfecto!, then they announce again that there is a workshop after the lunch .you trust me, i just signaled my roommate that i am cuttin out after the lunch, no workshop for me, thank you.
i no, dont tell me , i am already americanized, becos am complainin about how long church was, dont worry thats why i kno i wont last a week at the redeemed in my area.
how come nothing funny is happening to me, i think the blogging thin is ruining my mojo..haha

...Am Back

2007-06-09T21:58:00.000-04:00

sorry for being MIA, its such a long story, anyway where do i start from,

first of all,i just found out i am taking the class of Prof L/"worst professor" next fall, me and this guy have had so much drama, even my dean knows about this, but the funny thing is that i did not cos the drama , it as usual me and my "gbeborun" mouth that always puts me in trouble, but am not sorry, its is the yoruba part of me, that makes me put my mouth in everyone's biz ness even if its not my concern
...okay here is the conversation. my first interaction with the"worst prof"

location: 6pm, 1st day of ...securities and investment class

worst prof: welcome class, blah blah blah, introduction story, then he practically lists all his achievements, 2 masters, 2 different PHD's , written 12 books on investment, on the board of this and that, governin council of the CFA(chartered financial analyst)like CPA,and so on, by now i was so bored,this guy was bullshitin 2 much , then he stated authoritatively "i am more intelligent than the average American"

me/toyintomato: hehe, kilari, kiloshele, inteligent kini, what this did guy just say..what! more intelligent,intelligent ko, intelligent ni, so i smiled and raised up my hand, and calmly said.."excuse me prof, i tend to disagree with that statement, what measurement did you use to reach that conclusion"...dont even ask i kno, what is my own with defending Americans, am i not Nigerian,

worst prof: his reply, the average American does not study higher than high skool, writes no less than 1 book, blah blah blah.

then me: i said, am sorry that isnt a valid conclusion, cos there is no standardized study of the average American intelligence...by now, i kno i should i have just shut up my mouth, but nooooooooooo, my yorubaness had to show itself, in full force..the original busybody.

worst prof: he said, do you know, how many boards i sit on, blah blah blah

me/toyintomato:..then i said..you know, it is more plausible to state that you might me more intelligent than the average American only in areas related to the finance industry.

worst prof: he smiled and said"i will remember you"

..and thats when all the palava/drama started, he picked on me in class, to answer questions all the time, it got so bad, that i had to tell my adviser, that i wanted to switch classes, that i was scared he might be biased in his grading,
anyway..from that period, the guy and i have had problems,
so now am taking him again this fall, so i got all the text books he uses, and i am reading like a mug.
cuz i know the guy is so goin to pick on me, so i want to be prepared.
and thats is the long version of why i have been Mia..missin in action, but am back..

documented effects of alcohol and me

2007-06-01T18:01:00.000-04:00

first.. of all a big thanks to all the comments, i will try to reply to most of the comments.(i am still figuring out how to do that..haha, u know i am slow when it comes to computer things)

....yesterday, it was so hot,i took a power nap at 5:30pm and eventually woke up at 9pm, so obviously i wont be able to go back to bed..
i called everyone i knew, about suggestions on things to do that will make me fall asleep.
here is the list of the suggestions...
1:my pal , said i should drink hot cocoa..i did not work.
2: heard i should watch a boring movie ..dat also failed.
3:i even tried random reading of blogs..i was still awake
4: heard i should eat till am stuffed, had pancakes, potatoes, pasta aka spagetti..i only ended up in the toilet...now its 2am , no sleep yet
5:read my most boring text book, which has never failed to knock me out, i calculated all the formulas on hedge fund strategies, option pricing analysis...etc ....i still didn't fall asleep
6: went thru my phone,called my ex-booty call, he did not pick up.....yeye boy.
7:counted sheep..lol , like that ever worked,.... abeg, i stopped counting at 85,495sheeps

..then my fantastic roommate suggested, i drink a Smirnoff(beer), because i will surely fall asleep..this is the story behind that

.....my dad, is a correct drinker, he can drink from "officially 12pm at work" to 9pm at a beer parlor. no form of alcohol is safe from him...big stout aka odeku to star..aka sunshine,jony walker and even paraga and still be okay to drive back home, have an intelligent conversation with a police man,argue that badagry pips are the original lagosians and not isale eko pips,do my homework with me and still show no effects of alcohol.
...but nooooooooooooooo, of all the things he should pass down to me, he failed me at that. if i should take a sip, of anything alcoholic, i start acting like am on some serious alabukun overdose
below the 10 things i usually do, when i take a sip of alcohol
1: slurring on my words
2: shouting and ask everyone around if i am shouting
3: flirt with everyone in sight even girls
4: dance like there is no 2morrow, even if the music is not playing
5: try to have an intelligent conversation on determining the sex of ants, and its relation to political tension in Nigeria
6: discuss "with myself" which African president is the Most ugly...........any suggestions
7:talk with anyone who cares to listen, on how if you swim from Boston you will eventually get to the beach in Lagos
8:eventually start doing a strip tease.....i dont believe this, but my friends have a video tape they promised to use when i become the Nigerian finance minister.
9: throw up everything i have ever eaten in the past year, ranging from amala and efo riro to my Chinese vegetable fried rice.
10; and Finally i pass out and cant remember shit when i wake up

so it was with so much disappointment that i finally realized, my dad did not pass on his alcohol tolerance trait to me...
with all the past documented alcoholic related events of my 26 years of living, i made a mental note to myself..not one sip of alcohol, even if someone calls me an egbe,slacker, or a party pooper. i am usually on a natural high, i dont need alcohol to make me "higher"...
say no to peer pressure, yeah rite, who am i kiddin...lol

....with the known effects of alcohol and me, my roommate suggested i drink a beer to fall asleep,i drank just a little bottle, and as usually, i banged on her door, made an ass of myself and fell asleep..finally!.

..its 7:10 am i cant wake up, i have a hangover, i cant feel my legs, i feel so slow, am i ever gonna get to work today...i hit the snooze button again, its 7:24am, there is no hope 4 me..the devil is a liar!, over my dead body tofiapa , i will not ruin my perfect resumtion time of 7:55am sharp nigerian time...
so i did not go to work, i called in sick today, so i have to go in to work 2morrow/Saturday to finish my projects...i am definitely not happy about this...no clubbin, no hanging out, this friday sucks..
...moral of today, try , try and try again, i am still trying hard, to beat the effects of alcohol and me, i will survive, am i not the daughter of my father.."i have dream that one day, i will drink alcohol , and will not make an ass of my self, and not even have a hangover the next day, but for today all i can drink is "coke on ice"

i have no life insurance...yepa!

2007-06-01T02:02:00.000-04:00

...why did this occur to me.
i drive a golf cart at work to get from one buildin to another, becos all the buildings are spaced far apart.
anyway , one of the golf carts had axle damage and had to be repaired, so i offered to pair up and share my cart with my co-worker aka the new girl.
dats when palava happened, she offered to drive, i gave her the keys, then kata-kata burst.
she was driving like she was on crack, we were all over the place, she couldnt control the steerin, did i mention she also was driving with one hand, also she never used the brakes,she never stopped at stop signs, cars were screeching to avoid hitting us.

..my life flashed before me, who is gonna inherit my shoe collection, what about my expensive ass text books, i still havent watched ocean's 13 teen, commin out soon...am i goin to die in a stupid golf cart, and it dawned on me, i dont have a life insurance policy.

anyway i calmly smiled and told her, to please take me back to the main office buildin that i forgot somethin, i ran to my boss, and screamed that why was i paired with .."an accident waiting to happen",she then told me the new girl dosent have a drivers liscence.

...ori mi o ( my head oh) this woman wants to kill me, i am surely gonna die today 4 sure.my boss then said i should teach the new girl some pointers on how to drive, ..my reply "no way in hell".
i told them i am goin to walk to all the buildings, i went to ife, walking is our life,i walked from moz hall to class, from moremi hall to pharmacy dept... i can even walk to mountain Kilimanjaro if the need be.
..soo the moral of the story, i carefully avoided the new girl and her driving skills, i walked thru out today, i now have sunburn, cuz i did not use sunscreen.
but i am happy i am the first child of my family, the crown jewel, i am not prepared to die now, and besides i dont even have a life insurance policy, typical naija mentality..hahahahahah....rolling on floor

p.s...its not that i did not want to help the new girl out, the girl really was a difficult person, and i did not want to deal with her, there is also a bunch of liabilty crap from my job, if shit happens to the golf cart while i am teachin her to drive.
besides also this is America, everyman for himself, i aint her family, ...shooooo

still playing around with this blog

2007-05-31T00:32:00.000-04:00

i still cant get the correct time, to appear properly on my blogs, and i dont want to ask my one and only IT/computer whizz, cuz he is just goin to abuse me and call me olodo. not that i mind, but i want to at least try and prove to him that i am computer savy....ha ha who am i kiddin

today was barbeque at the office...what did i tell you about my office pips, i ate so much chicken that by the time it was after lunch, i was so sleepy. but again thats why coffee is my number one friend, big ups for star bucks caramel frapachinno....hmnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

my Godfather just finish harassing me in an email, wonder how someone all the way in naija can harass me, well its just the naija way of doin things. anyway, this is the gist, am supposed to buy a car, and he is mad, but i just want to see the money in my account, its so uplifting..most students will relate to this, cuz it seems i am always broke. but since i got the money for my car(....okay you can call me a spoilt brat, who still gets an allowance to buy a car, am not mad) dats why i love the naija culture, cuz no matter how old you are, if u are broke someone is sure to settle you.

before i drift again, where was i...then he also harrassed me, for not investing my money...lmao, i told him, i havent eaten belleful, why should i start investing..dont worry this totally contradicts all my finance teachin...haha. i know.

havent been on to a wedding website in a while, i think the love stories are beginning to get to me, cuz i keep wondering how my story is gonna be ...these are a few thing am sure will never apply to me

1: i wont have known my husband who ever it is gonna be for over over 10 years, cuz am 26 now, and am sure i want to get married by 29/30ish,dat rules out the 10years of datin...haha
2: the guy/husband wont be my best friend..cuz most of my best friends end up datin pips that look like me, then tell me about it, no offense, but it just bothers me , why would they date someone that look likes me..anyway i try not to bother about it
3: i am pretty sure , the person will not see me in his sister/friend's picture and ask for my number ...cuz most of my friends are guys, who are a little protective
4:in addition am sure we wont ever meet tru a blind date, cuz i dont do blind dates
5:also we wont have notorious long phone conversations, cuz am known for not pickin up my phone calls
6:our families wont have known each other for ever, cuz usually my sister is the one that dates family friends, thats her thing

so you see, o ti tan funmi, there is almost no hope 4 me gettin married..lol, but i have faith in my one and only paddy, God, He has never failed me before.in addition also my mother is seriosly fasting and praying..haha, she has even agreed to setlle for a non african, and thats deep for my mum, an abeokuta born and bred teacher..(i have kinda strayed to the non african/nigerian pool for datin)
don't worry i will always return to dating naija guys, i was just a little tired of the bullshit, and besides am still on "lockdown".

still no sleepy yet, maybe i shld watch a movie, sounds like a plan, me and jamie have a date on my laptop. jamie fox is my aprill/may 07 crush, before it was akon, but am a little envious of how he was dancing with that girl, dat shld have been me. anyway am cool so long as he keeps singing to be. i will be his for at least 3 more months...my crush lasts no less than 3-6monts.
later, am off to my date with jamie fox

kinda funny

2007-05-29T21:51:00.002-04:00

this i can relate to, cuz back home a mad dog chased me home from skool, practically tore off my skool uniform....lmao, poor girl , at least she wore panties

wonder why the face looks so familiar......hmnnnn

whyyyyyyyyyyyy! dont show it off, if you cant wear it corectly. haba

1st day of summer job

2007-05-29T19:01:00.000-04:00

okay...am still tryin to figure out this bloggin webpage, so give me some time.
i am totally fagged out right now, but if i take a nap, then i will wake up at later and wont be able to sleep, and eventually go late to work

....woke up 7:10 am, totally love my alarm clock, dragged myself 2 work at 8:10am, mind you i wasnt technically late ,my boss already knows about african time, i explained to him that i need 15minutes leeway before i start work,becos am always late...haha
..thank God , so much for the person that created star bucks coffee, i believe he /she should be given a noble prize. i had to train pips today, i was so groggy... 2 cups of coffee, and a half hour later, i was back on point...am proud of myself

am boogieing to tongolo right now, am working my flat ass...haha. heard i shouldn't listen to naija music 2much, becos i would be creatin a mini naija in my room, and defeating the purpose of my assimilation into the American culture..who gives a crap, am addicted to this site http://www.krazienaija.com/ it satifies my craving for naijamusic.

so obviously nothing happened 2day, just typical work..saw a cute guy , very sexy dark chocolate and all, but he is another department, so we hardly talked,i just stole glances at him....hmnnnnn he looks so good, i did not even attempt to flirt with him! ..am still on lock down, clinck! clinck!...lol
am trying to think of a way to end my blogg..like a signature line, anyway am still working on that.

still up

2007-05-29T03:11:00.000-04:00

okay, i guess am still up, tryin to decide on a name..totally given up
my godfather told me to update my goals..short term, medium term and longterm, still trying to figure that out...details will be comin up shortly.

love this, am actually trying to figure out the calculation's for guys, i think it might take a while becos there are so many variables when dealin with guys

how i met the blogging world, first of all am addicted to weddin websites which eventually led me to this ...ishe Oluwa o le baje , i actively participated in anonymously readin the blogs and not posting any comments, then i found this blog: http://jolanaibi.blogspot.com/and NAIJA VIXEN.... and did the same thing as usual, in short am a blog stalker..haha..oti tan fun mi

talkin about stalkers, i had one last year, so am a little paranoid now about my personal information out there...long story the guy knew my name, googled it, found my schedule , tracked me down, went to my former apartment , came to my job, ...and of course as a naija chic i called the popo on him....jeye boy.

am here..finally

2007-05-29T01:09:00.000-04:00

am sure no one will ever read this, but i cant actually believe am bloggin, usually i rite crap on my hi5 and facebook page..so i guess, i wont be updating that in a while.
starting my summer job 2morrow/today since am still up .....8am sharp, not really excited , but the pay is great, free housing and lots and lots..of barbecue....yes i kno my office pips love to barbeque...so free food for me also..

i think am supposed to introduce myself...okay lets start
1: am known for my crazy,off wall comments/ideas on everthin, its very hard for me say i dont have an idea about a topic..."my mum's influence" growin up with a teacher is not easy u have to constantly update your knowledge on all issues

2: love to laugh and smile a lot....
3: many nicknames ranging from..Nigerian Nitemare....becos i throw a mean punch, to breakable becos i was a so skinny..dont worry dats all changed now..am a proud 150 pounds same as tyra banks(..okay dat was a small lie, i actually weigh 154..haha)
4:totally obssesed with t.v. i am a compulsively addicted to flippin the channels.i love my remote control. i also love movies, but prefer watchin them at home...not a great fan of movietheaters..but realize i have to go becos dats where guys like takin girls out for dates.
5:am also a tallie, and i love wearing shoes with at least 6inch heel...haha...so am usually taller than most pips i meet.
6:....and by now , u realize am female, currently am on lockdown, my official term for no dating till november 11th....lol, anyway i have had way 2 much drama from the dating scene, so i decided to voluntary remove myself, and rejuvenate myself...yepa i used a big word..".reju!" am proud of myself the millions of dollars on my education is not goin to waste...

7: and of course, am a student, and am supposed to be a very serious finance student...lol, yeah rite..i missed that memo on stereotypes, becos i usually cant believe am in the same class with my classmates.i try very hard to be "serios" in class...serios meanin..discuss management style techniques used in the apprentice..which i don't give a crap about...besides Donald trump always cracks me up,
i also try very very hard not to laugh when we talk about the high suicide rate of stockbrokers, i personally think we finance pips just like using big words and figures to bullshit pips...anyway i love my classes, i look good in a suit, and finally i play a mean golf...i am destined for success in the world of finance!
oya am tired of writin about myself, i hope this didnt come out 2 concited
okay i got to go, now i will try to update this regularly..hope i didn't throw 2manny bombs out there..aka spellin mistakes, its after 12, and am a little groggy..
peace out..the world of bloggin